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I dunno what i feel anymore :sad: just URGH!!!

Was just in a really emotional phone call, a REALLY emotional one........ I dont even know how to put this down in words, my heads all over the place.

So many feelings going round in my head and i don't know what any of them mean, i don't know what i feel.

So many things going round my head and i can't make sense of any of it! i'm soo bloody confused right now, confused beyond belief. Just..... URGH!!!

Urgh is all i can seem to say, i dunno how to express how i feel in words.

The phone call, found out how someone truely felt, and it hurts soo fucking bad to hear what was being said, soo fucking bad! if i could of been with that person right then i would of! if i could of hugged that person then i would of! Just hurts sooooooooooo fucking bad!!!

I made a promise to the person, and when i asked them for a simple one back they couldn't do it, couldn't do it for me, even after what they said.

Wanted me to make them a promise but couldn't do the same for me, the exact same thing and yet they want me to promise them but when i ask them the EXACT same thing they say they cant promise that.

How do you expect me to promise you if you cant prosmise me back. If you was to promise me that then i would promise you, without a doubt. All i want is for you to be safe, for you to have a good future, you need to listen to what i said to you, but you can't promise me what you want me to promise you. You said you'd do anything for me, the only thing i want is for you to be safe and happy but you can't promise me that. Hurts so bad because i can't lose you, i can't go thru that pain, everything i said was true wether you believe me or not, i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it and i told you that.

Sorry this turned into a ramble, just had to get that out.

*gets back to doing her coursework* :sad:


Hey Vikki,

I don't even know you, but please know I am sorry for your pain.

Somebody told me this once. It's some old adage: "Promises Are Meant To Be Broken". Now what kind of bull crap is that? LOL People suck. Took me a very long time to understand that.

Feel better. You have so many wonderful people here to give you support.
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