used and alone

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zooty, May 27, 2008.

  1. Zooty

    Zooty Active Member

    About 9 months ago a a long relationship i had with someone had ended which resulted on me being put on prozac for 6 months but the real cure seemed to be another girl i knew who i hadnt really ever spoken too but we met up one day and things kinda clicked we had a lot in common and got on well as friends so i poured my heart out to her then after about 6 weeks her family moved away we stayed in contact

    Anyway she wasnt having the best of times when she moved. so we ended up talking even more me about the breakdown of my relationhip and her about being misierable after moving. i guess if u spend 3+ hours a day talking to someone about very personal things for long enough u will get feelings for each other... we relised we loved each other and discussed how things would be possible if we were closer.

    So shes not getting along with her parents. meets this guy and moves in with him after about 2 months, she had spent hours talking to me about the moral issues of wether she loves him or not or is just using him to get away from her parents. during this time i came off prozac

    I was fine with her being with this guy i did love her but the distance was a huge issue it wouldnt have worked between us but I invited her to come stay with me for a weekend and she did the first day shes back we spent with all of her friends who ditched her after she moved she hadnt spoken to most of them more than twice since she moved.

    the next day she spent with all of her extended family who still live locally and in the evening wanted a girly night with her best mate so stayed with her. then on the 3rd day she comes back to mine and moans about being hungover and ill all day so i just leave her too it asking if shes ok getting her medicine etc. just being a good friend/host so during the 3 days shes here we spent about 5 hours acctully hanging out (bare in mine i have 7/8 months of repressed love welling up inside)

    so she goes home early due to not feeling well and gives me a txt saying i annoyed her? WTF lol i left her alone for the most part and let her do her own thing :S. she doesnt talk to me for 2 weeks during which time im giving her time to calm down a little then i txt her asking something along the lines of is there any point me trying to carry on or shall i throw this friendship away.... she just replied with 5 blank txt's and wont answer her phone to me. another 2 weeks and ive written a letter but dont know if sending it is a good idea...

    I know ive been used which sucks because i love this girl to bits and am very worried for her as im pretty much sure shes just with this guy to get away from her parents. shes going to end up miserable and having been there i dont wish it upon anyone especially someone i care for so much.

    So yea im posting here as in the past 9 months:
    I lost one relationship
    3 of my best friends moved away (inc. said girl)
    1 of my other friends started hanging around with the wrong people and i stopped talking to them
    2 of my other best friends stopped talking to me for no reason (girl included)

    kinda only leaves me with a few people to talk too my family who ive never been too close to and 1 mate who just tells me to forget her... i wish i could but its not that easy i know the whole thing of plenty more fish in the sea etc. but my cirlce of friends is massivly depleted and everyone i work with is at vastly diffrent ages so i have trouble socialising with them so chances of meeting 1 of these new fish seem slim to none.

    guess in less than a year ive lost a lot i dont want to go back on prozac i dont feel depressed just a bit down (having trouble sleeping and not enjoying doing anything) and thats my semi long rant over
  2. Puzzled

    Puzzled Member

    My advice is to keep trying to get in touch with her, but space it out a bit, its tough I know but I had a friend do the same thing with me, she didn't talk to me for 3 months and finally she contacted me and apologized, and we've been the best of friends since, I don't think you'll get a relationship, but hey, a friendship is much more meaningful.
  3. ZundertowZ

    ZundertowZ Well-Known Member

    my advice would be to let it seems like its a one sided friendship and your just gonna wind up getting hurt! over and over!
  4. Zooty

    Zooty Active Member

    urgh kinda lost it at work today and left early, so made an emergency doc appointment and im back on prozac :'(

    I dont know why i feel so crappy i have my physical health and for the most part dont have any money issues i can feed/clothe/house myself and when im like this just cant feel happy about it i know there are people in far worse situations who would think im just moaning about nothing :/

    as for the girl once the prozac kicks in i guess il be over it... i would still like to be friends so il send that letter and just give her time.
  5. Hey,

    That sounds horrible, she was out of order to use you like that.

    I know what you mean, I broke up with my girlfriend (2+ years) recently and now all my 'friends' seem to be disappearing. Leading me to wonder if they were only friends with me because of her? Either way, it means I've lost a lot of people at once :sad:

    Seems like you've got a similar situation. The mate who tells you to forget her - how much do you really value her friendship? She doesn't sound like the sort of friend you need right now, one who is insensitive enough to say something like that.

    I agree with undertow and puzzled, I think you should try and keep that friendship, but it doesn't sound like a relationship would be good :unsure: Even if you do get something going, if she mistakes your friendly hosting as annoying, it doesn't sound like it could work? To go on and ignore you also seems to finalize the fact that she doesn't treat you like you deserve to be treated by a partner! (or respective partner!).

    But keep the friendship! You never know, you might end up becoming closer friends again in the future :smile:

    Whatever you do, you have my good luck.
  6. Zooty

    Zooty Active Member

    Well i sent that letter (plus a few of her things) on thurs only not to sure if i put the right postage on so no doubt shes gonna get even more pissy with me because she has to go pay the fees... il see if shes ready to talk on tuesday :S

    Anyway ive been ok since thurs but 20 mins ago i had an anxiety attack and went paranoid im feeling better now but i just wanted to write it down so its not on my mind as much.
  7. Zooty

    Zooty Active Member

    no luck :'(