It's funny, because I thought moving out and getting a good job would change things. I live with my best friend now and it's awesome. We have opposite schedules, so I'm always alone. I landed the hospital job that I wanted, so I'll be financially stable with just that. Although, I still need a second for pocket money. After all these changes I made to better myself. Nothing has changed. I'm still depressed. Im still sad and still not satisfied. I constantly think of death and just want to get it over with. I try and I try everyday to get better, but I cant. Nothing is happening even though everything is. I can't just change me and that's the problem. No matter where I go i'll always be stuck with me. I hate it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I change? Why can't I just have the guts to end everything already? I don't have motivation anymore. I wish I was dead already.