I know nothing else lately. For over a week I have been in a bad place. The only thing keeping me alive is the pills and booze. If I didn't have them I would of been successful at my attempt. So now they just keep the pain at bay. It seems like everyday something new is thrown at me that I can no longer deal with. And it just keeps coming and coming. My life consists of either feeling suicidal or being suicidal. And i can't bare either one any longer. Both confirm the failure I have become. So what do I do now? Where do I turn? How do I make it stop? I only know one real solution but I'm too much of a failure to even get that right. I'm just so beaten now and cant find anything to fight with or even want to.