Useless is this forum, useless is me. I came on here, hoping to proven wrong. Because I thought I had already tried every way to work myself out of my own self-loathing, depression and suicidal thoughts, but I come to find, I was right, I had tried them all. I had hoped I was wrong, hoped someone had something new, but no. I can't get over my body issues, I've been dieting, working out and working on other things that were supposed to help but have yet to, I look at myself in the mirror and only hate myself more, seeing all the things that need to be changed and all the things I cant change. I can't get over my shyness or confidence issues, partly because of my body and that I've never been great at talking to women. I'm 21. That's pathetic. I am pathetic. I've tried too, I made a full honest effort and even felt I was succeeding but then my self-esteem dropped, my doubt crept in and I fell out of that program, a loser, like always. I'm a failure, an ugly, putrid, disgusting, pathetic failure who deserves to be alone, who will die alone. Thank you for nothing.