useless

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by black_rose_99, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    I just feel so completely useless and pathetic today. I can't even motivate myself to get out of bed, let alone get through the things I need to do. My oh so helpful online CBT course gives GREAT advice for "activity scheduling" and planning your day to get through what you need to get through, but it lacks giving you some advice for how to get MOTIVATED to do the activity scheduling in the first place. I can schedule up the wahzoo, I've been making lists and timetabling my days for as long as I can remember. But none of that helps with the actual getting up and doing of what I need to do. Like this morning, I took a freaking whole day off work so that I could start getting some things done, timetabled my day in reasonable chunks, one hour for this, break, one hour for this, break, by the end of the day you should have done this this and this. But do I do it? No. Being somewhat reasonable and also motivated, I set an alarm for 930 this morning (the fact that I even have to set an alarm to get up mid-morning is pathetic in itself) and I would start my day at 11, giving me some time before I began to shower, check all my usual websites and then get going. Instead, I'm getting up at 11, and it's now 1pm and I'm still stuck on the first task that I had to complete for the day.

    Why am I so useless? Why do I come here and vent about trivial tiny insignificant things when others are going through so much? "ooh my big problem is that I can't schedule properly" like, grow up, me, seriously.

    I'm so pathetic.
     
  2. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    I know you feel pathetic and useless today, but EVERYONE has days where all motivation has gone out of the window. It doesn't make it feel any better, and you get annoyed with yourself for it, but please try not to be. And it does have a negative effect on the way we view ourselves, because we think we are stupid and lazy etc for not doing things. The fact is though, you are probably unmotivated because you are having a 'down' day, or feel worse than usual. You haven't purposefully decided that today you WON'T have motivation, you will be happy with having no motivation, etc. Everything just gets pretty overwhelming at times. And hey, you tried. The intention was there. Please try to not beat yourself up so much.

    And also, you are NOT useless, or pathetic for posting here about things that you deem to be 'trivial' and 'insignificant'. It is significant to you, and upsetting you, and this is just as valid as any other post I've come across. It affects YOU and you have every right to feel this way, and subsequently post about it. Pain is NOT comparitive. Hurting is hurting. Regardless of its cause.

    Here if you need to talk :)

    Thinking of you

    :hug:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so difficult to overcome feeling apathetic...I have spent years trying to do so myself, and understand how hard it is to put into action the goals we set...maybe making the goals smaller, and more clearly defined might help...and give yourself credit for what you do...when we lump everything into a feeling of failure, we set ourselves up for not doing anything we have planned...J
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree do not make lists of what to do make one goal to do something a day one thing doing that one thing gives you motivation to do more okay Pick out one thing that has priority and do it hugs
     
  5. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Aww you guys... thank you! :blub: :rose:

    I just had a phone call with the CBT counsellor person, and I asked her how I find motivation. She said it's a choice. If I'm not motivated, it's because I'm choosing to stay in bed instead of getting started on the projects at hand. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

    Sadeyes, and Eclipse - thank you for your help. I thought that I had chosen smaller goals, manageable tasks, but I guess I need to break them down smaller. My original goal was to do six tasks today, I've completed two and I think that's better than none. Maybe six is too many, so I'm going to try to make them smaller even again.

    lostbutnotfound - thank you for your caring reply. I would love to say it's just today that I was lacking motivation, but in truth, these things I was trying to complete today I've been meaning to do for about a year. One the one hand, it shows they're not urgent, on the other hand, it sucks that I haven't been motivated for a whole YEAR to do this. I think the key word is overwhelming - because I've put it off for a year, the task just got bigger and bigger and now it's at the point I just don't know how to even start it. Thank you for your reassurance as well, I really appreciate what you said.


    So, in summary - I got through two tasks and I've decided I am happy with that!
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Two tasks a day is excellent okay it is i think six is just too many a day when sometimes it is a task just to get out of bed. You see that is where i start small task 1 get out of bed
    2 and this does not get done all time but wash face do teeth
    3 eat something for breakfast
    see the smaller task is where you start then work up to the bigger ones


    sometime is you choose to do a big task like go to store and shop or do laundry that is enough for one day

    be proud of what you have done okay because you are doing something hugs to you
     
  7. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Eclipse, yeah I am scheduling things in like "get up", "have a shower", I think I just got too ambitious with my day off. It's okay, it's all a lesson in how to relearn to do things properly, and my lesson for today is break things down even smaller than you think you need to. Like when you pack, you pack what you think you'll need, then take half of it out. So I'll make my task list, then reduce it to something more manageable to make it less overwhelming.

    lots of hugs back :hug: :)
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Like when you pack, you pack what you think you'll need, then take half of it out.

    I like that line good one hugs to you
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with lost but found.. Even the simplist of things can be so overwhelming.. I needed to dust my bedroom for two months.. I just couldn't do it.. My neice got up and jumped right into cleaning house... She came in and vacuumed my room and dusted a few things.. That motivated me to finish it..Maybe I just need to have someone kick me in the ass every morning..I lack motivation badly.. If it wasn't for my dog I would stay in bed..
     
  10. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi Stranger - I'm glad it finally got done :) I remember when I first moved to London and I just couldn't function - all I wanted to do was stay in bed, and this was not conducive to finding a job. So my friend took me to hers for dinner, sat down on her computer, and found website after website and emailed them to me so that when I got to my own computer, all I had to do was post my resume to each one. I think the first step is the hardest, and in a way she did for me what your niece did for you - she took the first step for me. I think it makes the rest of it not so overwhelming - once it's started, you then have incentive to keep going, but the whole "getting started" thing is REALLY hard sometimes.

    xx