Hi everyone. About two years ago, I had a suicidal notion in front of my friends on a night of drinking. I believe they called help for me and were advised to look to the other way. I also believe they incorporated another friend from the agency. I will not go into further detail about this. Knowing this all took place is making it extremely difficult for me have fun with them. I become angry when we go out drinking. I seem distant when around them. I just seem to want something from everyone who took from me (who allowed me to go down this pathway). I am finding it difficult to be the nice kid I used to be. My chained aggression is now out of the box (and I feel like the quiet kid I used to be was a better person). The worst part is, if I stay away from all of them...I know it is the best for them and me. I've started rejecting the re-incorporating process (going back to my original sentences) because it seems so fake and tedious. I need help but no friend in sight.