Utterly speechless

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ExtraSoap, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    I was on reddit, more specifically r/atheism, and I tried to have some intelligent debate by voicing my opinion that as a fellow atheist I think that atheists as a whole are incredibly intolerant. I wont go into detail, but I basically got trolled out of existence. I was feeling great for a while but now I just feel like crying. I was insulted and verbally attacked when all I wanted was to have an intelligent conversation by voicing my opinion. I deleted the post but I still feel so shitty. The worst part is is the fact that I'm this upset over an argument over the internet. I'm fucking pathetic.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    No! you are not pathetic! :hug:

    Have also been reduced to tears over an internet argument (more than once tbh).
    It doesn't matter if its remote and anonymous it still can hurt.

    BTW, I couldnt agree more about the intolerance factor and if you ask me they just proved your point.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    :hug: I am so sorry to hear that people were so rude to you, and that they really upset you. You aren't pathetic...I get upset about things on the internet all the time. It's upsetting because you know that there is still a person on the other end, and they are saying mean things, and it can really hurt. I agree too that some atheists can be as intolerant as religious fanatics. Anyone who is too stuck on one issue and can't see the other side of it seems intolerant to me. You have every right to express whatever you're feeling and people shouldn't say hateful things to you because of that. I'm sorry this happened and I hope you'll feel better soon.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    As someone else has so rightly replied...... they themselves have proved your point :laugh: But I am sorry for how it has made you feel, being shouted down, put down etc. You have every right to your observations.
  5. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Hmm.. yes. But in fairness.....

    If you make a large claim like that people are going to respond. I defiantly am not saying them ripping into you is justified, im just saying if you say people are intolerent, they're going to want examples, ..lol. Actually no they're going to bite your head off if you dont bring examples, and either include or exclude or ask them if they are a part of it. Simply generalising a group is very dodgy. Just becareful, some people are itching for excuses to let rip into people. That would be an excessively easy one for people to use as an excuse to themself to be assholes. Idk what they said, but.. just work out where it's really coming from if it's bothering you. If you're an athiest, then I assume you ... well. That's something for you. They're just twats looking for a rise. It makes them something, and it doesn't make you pathetic. Fuck em :p Just appricate the playing field you're in aswell perhaps.

    Try and pick your battles. If you dont really want whiplash and want to talk about intolerence, find something a bit more specific so people can relate to it. Defining a way of life is very touchy for people. Relate you to them and the problem, you'll have alot more understanding.. depending on your venue i suppose.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2012
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hey - thanks for this - it has really helped ME! The trouble I got myself into a while ago which unravelled and resulted in my attempt - was because I had done something which I now consider to be foolish (with the new insight I was 'forced' to find to medicate my mind)...... I answered a letter in the newspaper written by someone complaining about Christian's opinions being intolerant........ I wanted to show the other side - an explanation about how we all fall short, etc. Well, the whiplash from that was indescribable, really. (had better not give details)

    Your post has helped me to see the truth and wisdom that - OMG - I wish I had known back then...... thank you :smile:
  7. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    :) No worries, sometimes peoples reactions are just completely off of our own personal charts because we're not wired that way, in comparison to them.
    Considering how both of your questions revolved around intolerence... you're basically revolving around the topic of what commitments anyone who is commited to those groups has to understand and also agree with, otherwise they're not getting it or at worst you're saying they are un"grouplike" :). In essence it's a prelude to you telling people how to live their life. Again, that's a battle picker, you're eventually going to come across stances, and while you or I have our own stances, people don't enjoy having that directly challenged, or emphasised out of the blue. That's why it's nicer to stay with things that you can atleast relate with. Yours was a bit different, because yours was in response. People are nuts. They can make sense,... and then after that bores them they can rip, tear..ect. I'd suggest being careful to whom you respond too aswell. Some people want to identify those who disagree, just so they can rip into them. And some people just wait back for those who give an honest opinon, just so they can attack it to watch you get hurt. Just keep things in perspective, and don't make yourself out to be god in the process :p

    Unless you are :O ;) <-- can be taken completely off the mark by someone who believes in god, because I have basically just trampled over the bond between that person and god by ...

    Sensitive issues, require sensitive wording :) Finding the right people to talk with? That's half of it, seeing the other sides and including them in the topic nature is important. Especially those that conflict with your way of life. It helps you appricate the groups you are trying to emphasise with whatever beliefes you connect with. Some people are just nutty and the deeper you go, the more justified they can feel to let rip into you on those deeper levels. Or be brutually honest back to you.
    Sometimes being ripped also means you've see something you dont want to see. Then you have to choose if that is a part of you or ..blah blah blah. Yeah But Ill be honest, anyone who rips into you on those levels has issues, unless they feel you've ripped into them. Sometimes they just take you completely wrong, and respond accordingly. It's a minefield with people, especially in groups.

    tbh soap, if you aren't talking about it somewhere else, I'd ask your question here. But I do get why you might not want to, in anycase if you have a question, ask it. If you're getting flack, try somewhere new(or try again but that's a new song and dance with dodgy responses), and just appricate how you're asking it sometimes. :) Roll on mate, it aint that bad no matter what someones said.

    And look, if you were talking about something like that, it shouldn't have ended with you feeling like this. However it went, they don't know you, even if they made sense as they wrote to you. It's like this paragraph... Just dont let anyone make yourself feel horrible about yourself. If you already feel bad about something and theyve deceided to touch with that and then throw in different ways of looking at it that are nasty, ...........
    ug but you have to appricate too that you're challenging all sorts of peoples lives when you start saying they are wrong. They'll respond in kind. It's a dance and that's a pretty heavy topic, until you meet people on the samepage, and idk, intolerence is relative. imo atleast to the people who take it straight to heart. It's difficult to "interpersonalise" with people especially en mass, let alone on a negative topic. Some groups think that they are beyond certain considerations, while others are unaware ect... Just try again :) ... but not in this thread lol You don't need to protect it like so, you didn't feel you had to begin with. I would try again, or scale it back slightly. Unless it's not that important to you. Im sorta trying to get to why you want to talk about that. And if you wanted to talk about it, and they've knocked it down, find your way to appricate the situation, and ask your question again. Unless it was answered. But I can guarentee you that it wasn't, so keep looking, because I think your question is a bit skewed tbh.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2012
  8. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Well I didnt really give you the details of the argument. In short, I didnt read the FAQ and asked a question that was answered in said FAQ. I realized that the reason they got so angry was not because they were being intolerant (not the majority anyway), but because they always get questions like that from people who dont read the FAQ. I sent a PM to one of the people in the argument, as he was the main contributor and was not a total ass about it, saying I realized their side of the argument after some reflection and apologized for the way I acted (because I lashed out as well).

    Here is my PM: It took me a while, but it hit me a bit after I posted. I made a stupid mistake, then refused to admit it. not only that, but I started flinging insults when I started to realize I was in the wrong. for what it's worth, I apologize. I got pretty fired up, and I acted like an ass.

    And here is his response: Thanks for taking the time to write this. We all make mistakes, but not everyone is big enough to admit it. It's easy to get carried away when things get confrontational, but at the end of the day, we're all just trying to understand the world. That's one of the thing that I really like about r/atheism: it really allows people to explore issues that you can't talk about anywhere else. I've learned a lot from it, and it sounds like you have too. For what it's worth, I have no negative feelings towards you about what happened. I appreciate your honesty, and I sincerely hope that I see you on r/atheism again. Take care!

    In short, we made up. I'm not upset anymore, because I realized that I a) made a mistake and refused to admit it and b) the people on r/atheism have to put up with people like me who dont read the FAQ and people trying to convert them. I just looked at both sides of the argument and understood where they were coming from. Problem solved! :D
  9. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    :) glad you're sorted it out.
  10. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    nvm. read updated post!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 15, 2014