Am pretty much feeling all emotions from anger to feeling horrible to guilt and worthlessness As some of you know from my post that my crappy physical health was from a car accident due to a DUI/ reckless driver who rearended me at a high speed. Have had series of misfortunes and bad luck since then I also had a ruptured appendix 2 weeks after I had the first knee surgery and was in the hospital for 10 days and had to have a drain put in. During the time I was in the hospital this month the court case for the guy who got charged with the DUI happened and I got a phone call from the state Attorney that the guy killed himself the same day court was supposed to happen. A suicide. This guy didn't just only hurt his loved ones as he was loved by many and had a son who will be scarred for life. He also hurt me all over again. I felt guilty for feeling a little relief that I didn't have to go through court reliving that night. I feel guilty that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was/seem to be the catalyst for him to take his life. He was just a year older than I so it kinda hit closer to home for me as it could have been me. I feel so bad for his son and wished we traded places sometimes so I don't have to continue dealing with the physical pains on the other hand. As I'm done dealing with the bullshit. I have put my dog to sleep, my best friend and my grandmother died/ my aunts/uncles are squabbling over property/money. The house is now up for sale and a lot interests in it. This all happened in the last 7 months.