yeah, nothing new I think I need to realize that I need to be honest. im disgusted with myself. physically, mentally, emotionally. disgusted with myself, totally and utterly. So to help, I'll get lost in coffee and of course something to munch on. and so the cycle continues. too much on my mind, or going through my mind. ive already taken meds a while ago to help. but not tonight. its not helping. again, no help. just alone. disgusting and alone. wanting a way... hard work day and too much added on. overwhelmed with stuff. memories. old stuff. losses. and just over and over and over and over. stupid mind, stupid body. And just tinking about all of this. no wonder everyone around me has died and gone. its laughable really.