Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Tilt, Apr 9, 2016.

  1. Tilt

    Tilt Member

    About 8 months I decided to end a pretty good relationship with someone who I would consider my best friend. We were dating for around 2 years, and about a year and a half into the relationship I realised that it wasn't fulfilling to me anymore, I just wanted to be friends. I don't know how it happened, it felt like I was missing something. We weren't really going anywhere with it, we started seeing each other less and less. But I truly did care about them, it was really scary to think about hurting her while not giving her anything to work with. It's so incredibly frustrating to not understand why I didn't have feelings anymore. I sort of put it on ice for 6 months, acting normal before I got the courage to break it off. She wasn't pleased at all, but accepted that it was my wish and I wasn't happy going on as we were. I still feel alot of guilt for the sadness I caused her. But that was that. We still talk and get on reasonably well with each other today.

    I don't really mind being single to be honest. I see it as an opportunity work on other areas in my life and to learn to love myself. But I feel ashamed and weak to admit I might still have feelings for her... I know I DONT want anything more than to be just be friends, but I do miss the intimacy that comes with having a significant other. That feeling that someone has your back, who's there for you no matter what. I only realised today that I feel pretty conflicted about the whole thing when I heard she was hanging around with someone else who I know to be very flirtacious and promiscious, and the thought disgusts and angers me. I don't know if that's just me being protective and not wanting her to be hurt again, or if it's me falling for her again, even if I don't want to. I feel really confused... it's not even like anything happened for sure, and if it did it's certainly not my business. I don't want it to be my business. If I'm not over this 8 months on, will I ever get over it... the whole thing is making my self-loathing alot worse too, sigh. Can anyone relate?

    Sorry for the word vomit I just really need to get this out somewhere and I don't have a safe space for doing so aside from on here