Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by taranama, Dec 11, 2007.

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  1. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    what difference does it make to other peopl if i cut myself?? i'm not stupid, i can tell when to stop, i know how much is too much and i know that when i've finished, i'm totally ok. i feel better even.

    so why......exactly, does it bother them?

    yes, i'm hurting myself but in all honesty, if they cared they wouldn't pick at me, and tell me how useless and horrid and stupid i am. but they see a few scars on my hand and thats it....... *BANG* end of the world as i actually know it. i need counseling and prozac..

    i NEED to tell people to leave me alone, i can deal with it myself, and if i have any problems, i'll be sure and not tell anyone, and......what was it?? "wallow in my own cloud of attention seeking, self pitying victimization".... next time? write it in an e-mail.
  2. martijn

    martijn Active Member

    On one hand, it would be better (for you) if they'd all just understand and leave you to it. It's your choice, it's what you need at that moment and that's fine for you (and me, btw. I cut myself too.)

    On the other hand, it scares the shit out of an 'outsider' to see (or simply knowing about) the blood/scars/wounds on the arms of someone they know/care for/love. Your friends cannot understand (or, they might, it would just take alot of explaining..) why you do it (I believe it takes a cutter to understand how a cutter feels and what cutting means for them), so they make up their reasons, based on what they know, based on what they've heard, based on anything really, as long as they find a way to explain it..

    Saying that you're "wallowing in your own cloud of attention seeking, self pitying victimization" is stupid though. That's about the worst thing to tell someone that's cutting, I think. If the people that told you that found out just recently, then I have to say I understand them. They don't know what to do, how to react or what to say, but if they're your friends and care for you, you have to know they are trying. They are trying to help you, they just don't know how and I guess the stuff the say is their desperate attempt to help you.. They're probably trying their best though, they'll get the hang of it.

    On a sidenote, alot of people that aren't familiar with SH instantly connect it with suicide. Not saying that you might be suicidal because you cut, but your friends might think so, if they don't know what cutting is really about, that it's a way of coping and surviving (atleast, for some). They may be scared of losing you. Have you talked to them about that specifically?

    The most logical explanation to me, is that your friends care for you and want to help you, but simply don't know to. I've experienced the same thing and I can tell you it's quite frustrating.
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    You sound a lot like me. Sorry... just have to say that. Although nowadays... I can see it from their point of view too. It scares people a lot to see that someone they love is hurting themselves on purpose. Some of them blame themselves for it, and think that they're responsible. Others get scared and dont know how to react, and then in the end keep fussing over ya. I got that a lot and I HATED it.

    I also think that people do care, because they want to help - its just that they havent the faintest idea how to.

  4. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    and once again the only people who understand me are cyber figments of my computer's imagination....

  5. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Hey hun :]]

    I know what you mean. When someone found out about me, it all went nuts. They wouldn't understand that I know what I am doing, how to control myself, how to look after the cuts, burns etc. They just nagged and picked and criticised, making me feel even worse. They should have noticed that it made me feel better, and stopped me from doing bigger things to myself, but they didn't.

    It can be frustrated when people are like that hun, but it's because they don't understand. They don't know what it is like. They don't mean to hrut or upset or annoy you. They are doing what they think is best. Purhaps sometimes though they should listen to the one concerned, and accept that we DO know what we are doing...

    Hope you're ok hun :hug:

    Take care and keep strong,
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