Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RSull, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. RSull

    RSull New Member

    I think I'v needed to do this for a long time, just get everything out so I can really look at where I am and what I'm going to do with myself. I'm really hoping I'll feel better after doing this.

    I can't call myself suicidal, I don't want to be dead, I don't want to be away from the ones I love, no matter how bad I feel about myself, but sometimes I want to get away, I want to disappear, I want to go somewhere new and be a different person. I want to get away from myself because sometimes I look at myself and feel so disgusted with the way I am I start crying.

    I know the things I could do to help myself out of this situation, but I can never seem to motivate myself to the point of actually doing them. Whenever I think of trying to look for help I get intimidated. I always feel overwhelmed, and anxious, looking for help is like admitting failure or that I have something wrong with me. I always expect to be turned away or looked down on by whoever I'd have to go to. Or that I'd be told there's nothing wrong with me except being lazy and stupid.

    I'm 24 years old, and I still live at home with my father and 3 other siblings. I'v been working retail for the past few years since I left college after failing to get a degree. I have no real idea what I want to do with my life and I can't
    see how to get myself out of the situation I've created. My life at this point is nothing like I had hoped it would be, I hope it gets better I hope I can change just a little and be happier.

    It took me an hour to write this out, and it's honestly not much, probably not very coherent, but it's been a long time since I vented anything, And I do honestly feel better.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am glad you vented then you have a job that is great some people are unable to get one If you get overwhelmed reaching out for help then take someone with you to help okay. always good to have that extra support to get things initiated anyways don't be too hard on yourself okay i think many young people today are finding it hard it is just the way things are right now. This too may change give it some time okay take care
  3. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Links,links to ideas that may help you...or not as the case my be.

    I too have remained in the closet of never being able to tell others that I cannot leech any motivation from the stimulus society provides.
    I feared it would only bring disdain to proclaim this and the the help I badly needed would be rescinded with contempt as a result of saying so.

    Needless to say I have spent twenty years working with professional to fix the the things that were never wrong with me in the first place.

    Focus on what you feel or you may find yourself over-dealing with facets of yourself that do not warrant much attention and may begin in time to deliver unhealthy returns.

    From one who's been there and still is.
  4. RSull

    RSull New Member

    Thank you for the encouragement.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you are feeling a little better today hugs