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Venting about the site

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Mightbehere, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    people are posting in the thread of do you know someone whos killed themselves...For fucks sake anyone would think 1% of the population did it...according to one girl two of her friends from high school did!! LOL its not even 1 in five thousand and then there's all these people posting for meet ups...I mean what the fuck is this site suppose to be bake cookies forum...there are most likely some very dangerous predators on here and then there's heaps of bitchy threads about how they have been betrayed online! well don't meet with people from the site then. :rolleyes:
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :unsure: i dont know what your general point was supposed to be,but this is a support forum,and yes there are high chances for predators in any online situation like this,but thats where friendship and trust come in,and of course not everyone gets on,thats just a fact of life and those that are just tend not to talk to those that have betrayed them.so i dont see what your issue is with the site...
  3. FrostyGrunt

    FrostyGrunt Member

    I don't exactly know what the OP's point is either, but I think what he's trying to get at is there are far too many people on this site who post in the "Do you know anyone who has killed themselves?" forum, claiming that they do, compared to how many people actually commit suicide every year, and that some of these posters are simply fabricating stories to gain attention. That's just how I interpret it, and does not represent my opinion.

    I believe his second point is how generally unwise it is to attempt to arrange a meeting with someone who is potentially mentally unstable, or dangerous, over a website that has to do with suicide. But regardless of that consensus by the general public, certain patrons of this site jeopardize their own safety and try to arrange meetings anyway which usually don't pan out, and then whine about which they probably already knew would fail.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 19, 2008
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    alot of members have been here for some time and have gained friends here, they talk by pc, phone and meet up occassionally in public places as a group like the last meet in London.
    support doesn't start and end with a thread, it can go alot further.
    as for one to one meet ups then thats a different story, that needs to be handled carefully and has it own dangers, but, saying that its up to the members involved.
  5. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    "people are posting in the thread of do you know someone whos killed themselves..."

    Where? Got no clue what you're talking about.

    "LOL its not even 1 in five thousand and then there's all these people posting for meet ups...I mean what the fuck is this site suppose to be bake cookies forum."

    You know I'm sorry. The POINT of your thread, comprised of two unrelated topics is lost on me. Is there a tie-in? Can you focus it?

  6. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

  7. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Suicides are usually clumped together. How many members of Virginia Wolf's family killed themselves? Or the Hemingways? Anyhow, I hope all the members are aware of the danger in internet forums. I'm not sure I understand the aggression in the post though...

  8. mourningseraph

    mourningseraph Well-Known Member

    I'm the girl who lost 2 high school friends and I'm not quite sure what your point was on that, could you clarify please? :smile:

    As far as meeting up with people online: I'm ok with it as long as it's in a VERY public place (and its verified that several other members will be there) and not too much personal info is exchanged until I know them very well. I've met several people offline (not from SF but other forums) and they are some of my closest friends. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here today. IMHO if I'm suicidal and wanting to die anyway the risks of meeting up with a preditor are worth it if I end up making some good friends who actually give me a reason to live. :smile:
  9. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    OK, I guess you're just ranting :unsure:

    Ever think that people who've known someone to commit suicide are more inclined to consider it themselves?

    Bake cookies forum... :laugh: I dunno. Let people do what they want. That's none of your business, really. Just don't do it yourself if you're in opposition. :p

    Anyway, chill. It's okay. Nothing to fret over :hug:
  10. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    Well, let's see, the combined population of the UK and America (Sorry, people from other countries, but I'm not adding them ALL up) is about 367 million people. If we assume that you're correct and the standard rate of suicide is 1 in 5000, then we could feasibly have approximately 73,400 suicides reported on here without counting input from other countries. That adds up to an average of 4 people who committed suicide for every member on this board, including the inactive ones. Since suicide tends to occur in groups, and the average person comes into personal contact with a fairly large number of people through family, school, work, etc, the chances of encountering multiple suicide victims within your lifetime is entirely likely, especially if you yourself are depressed and tend to associate with other depressed people.

    Bad theory, try again.

    Edit: *is apparently grumpy today*
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 19, 2008
  11. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    Wow nice maths attack_amazon and yes i agree it is just a general rant
  12. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    While the OP's figures are slightly off, his point is valid nevertheless. I did a quick search and found that in 2004 in the United States, there were approx. 32,000 suicides. Thats roughly 1 in 10,000 or .01% of the U.S. population commited suicide that year. Given that there are roughly 2,500 active members on this site. The fact that 60 of them claim to know someone who has taken there own life does seem out of preportion with the overall statistics. And don't confuse simply hearing of someone who has taken there own life with personally knowing someone whos done it. Hell, we've all heard about someone who has killed themselves, but it does seem unlikely that over 2% of the members here have personally known someone. Granted though, too few people actually voted so thats too small of a sample to draw any accurate conclusions either way.
    Even if the number was 1 in 5,000 though, I can't possibly see how you can come to the conclusion that every member here should know roughly 4 people who have commited suicide. Thats just plain rediculous! For that to be true, the average member here would have to have personally known roughly 20,000 people in there lifetime in order to have come into contact with 4 suicides.

    To the OP, I get what your trying to say, even if the others dont. Point is valid.
  13. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Helena thanks!!

    Thinking back it's chilling man because I'm only thinking of the ones I've known personally and I think it's two or three over the span of my AA 'career'. (I think I might have posted in that thread.)

    On HERE, God knows. Another two or three? With yet another couple I know of who determined to yet?

    Said it many times. I think SUICIDE FORUM is a perilous trigger whose existence lends validation to the act.

    Think. How many you reckon we have actually stop in ratio to the ones we vicariously cheer on? Outside the womb, this is the first I've ever heard of the terms "pro-choice" and "pro-life" being applied.

    Intentions notwithstanding, SF can be perilous place and as Discarded may have alluded without knowing, the forum can (if not does) lead to copycat deeds of self-destruction.

    My onion.... errh, opinion :cool:
  14. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I don't know. It seems to me that the impulse to kill oneself is an internal impulse that while influenced from external events, can only be controlled by the individual. And if an individual can't control that impulse than they die. I watched the movie Gattaca and felt like killing myself. I'm certain that, by far, the majority of people who watch Gattaca don't consider suicide at all.

    The danger of closely associating yourself with people who are, like you, suicidal is that you may feel inclined to copy cat the behavior. The danger is well worth the benefits of discussing taboo and virtually enigmatic feelings like suicide and depression with people suffering the same emotions.

    Usually there's a stronger source of validation. Such as suicide in the family/in close relationships. The first experience with suicide is the strongest source of validation. And as suicide usually follows feelings of sever loneliness and isolation, it can only help to talk about it. Even with other depressed people.
  15. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    It makes sense that members on this board are more intimately familiar with suicide than the national average would suggest. Few people stumble on this forum, because it's only found through searching for a "suicide support group" "Forum for suicide",etcetera. Just like the majority of members on a heavy metal forum would know bands like Metallica, and the majority of members on a classical music forum would know Handel, but they wouldn't be as familiar with the other.

    The .01% refers to suicides, no? We should also add the percentage of people who experience suicide compulsions and the people who interact with people who suffer through suicide ideation. Frankly I'd be surprised if the majority of people on this forum never knew anyone who died by suicide. Just as I'd be shocked if the majority of domestic abusers weren't products of an abusive household.
  16. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    I'm still not quite sure how you can say that being on a suicide forum makes a person any more likely to have known someone who committed suicide than the general population as a whole. There are lots of different reasons why a person may be suicidal, having a friend or relative who did it is only one of many. And also, I don't think knowing someone who committed suicide neccessarily makes a person more likely to be suicidal themselves. It could in some cases, but I fail to see any direct correlation.

    To go back to your music anology you made. It's not really correct in relation to your arguement that more people here should know someone who committed suicide. And saying you'd be suprised if the majority here didnt personally know someone who has killed themselves is like saying you'd be suprised if the majority of people who visit heavy metal websites didnt personally know someone who's in a heavy metal band, which is most likely not the case.
    Liking a certain type of music doesnt make you any more likely to know someone in a band who plays that music, and imo, being suicidal doesnt make you more likely to know someone whos committed suicide.
  17. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Whoah there. :laugh: I have never been suicidal. It's a big label, quite a serious one. I have pondered suicidal ideas ("ideation") but like the post I wrote examining Hamlet, I'm really more really intellectually inquisitive of this, most seeming unnatural (yet real) human condition than anything else.

    To add, I suffer from chronic depression and deal with benzo addiction daily... but the 'leap' to suicidal? Noooo, I'm not there, not yet, hopefully never.

    And this is precisely why I personally feel I must mind where I post, what I read, and how much of each on SF in the interest of self-protection.

  18. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    This section is called let it out for a reason...

    and yes it is more closer to 1 in 10,000 and bearing in mind that a large section of that suicide % are also elderly (25%). I am not accusing anyone on this board of making things up, I am pointing out that on this board there tends to be a culture of dwelling on negativity which is highly unlikely VS the general population and perhaps from some people that leads to exaggeration but yes suicides do tend to occur in batches sometimes but most often it is a lone RARE occurrence it's hardly the fact that out of 100 people you grew up with 20 of them will kill themselves by the time they have reached 30...

    I see many threads posted on here by people who are upset that they have made 'friends' on here who have betrayed them...well if you don't want that to happen then DON'T! give out things like your personal mobile number ect.

    Also the Mods on this site should go to enough length to warn people of the dangers that talking to people on the internet and this site might contain.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 19, 2008
  19. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Mia culpa, mia culpa, mia culpa maxima:laugh:

    Sorry about that!

  20. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Depression does that to you :biggrin:.

    You bring up valid points, I just know from my experience that there are situations where people die in cluster. My family for one. But most of my family members don't kill themselves.

    I'm from an Irish American family so we have one of everything.