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...venting...actually, i dunno wtf i'm doing

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Some of you will realize who this is right off the bat, but whatever.

A few days ago I picked up heavy drinking and smoking, it's not enough to get me wasted but I do it over the course of the day. If I did it at once it'd get me smashed.

I feel bad cuz I'm stealing the drinkings from my mom and dad, and the smokes. My friend (who smokes) first offerend me a cig... well I asked to try it and he said okay. Now he's telling me "it's not healthy", and won't gimme any (even tho i've stolen a few from my mom for him- but that dosen't bother me.)

Since I started doing this, 5 days ago, I haven't eaten anything at all. Most I've had in the past few days has been 2 donuts, and a slice of pizza. That's all. I'm not sure if my recent picked up habits is causing it, but I've felt shitty all day yesterday and today. I dunno if it's the alchol kicking it or what.

Not to mention, my friends were talking about this one girl and I kinda/sorta/have/had a crush on her. When they were talking about her I felt the urge to cut...and still do. I'm debating weither to cut now. I was suppose to crash with my friends but I jsut didn't feel right and had to go cut, but when I got home I thought I might try on here instead.
 
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