Venting *lang*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Apr 25, 2007.

  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Everything seems to keep falling apart over and over again, I don't understand why all this keeps happening. Why is it there's so much pain? My gran is very sick, and the only thing that's kept her going in Cloe, she was my ferret, but my gran got so attached when watching her that I let her keep Cloe, Cloe's around 7 years old and has been sick, the vet said she'd have to be on several meds and have a cathitor to use the bathroom the rest of her life, she's beenn sick.. my grandmother called them back and requested they put her to sleep....My gran was in tears and Cloe was the only thing keeping her fighting, I'm afraid that she'll let go now and she on of the only things keeping me going.. I have watched her get sicker and slowly dying for the past8 years, she looks bad, I hate saying it but she looks like she's just dying.. all these people who have died, and I've seen so many people die, struggling to live, I watched my grandfather die, and others who were fighting for their lives, but I want so bad to die, to get out of this constant endless pain, why do they keep dying but I stay alive? it just doesn't seem fair! :sad:


    Some more things I need to let out. -

    Dear Ray,

    I hate saying this but I hate you and I wish you'd just disappear of the face of this earth so you can't hurt anyone ever again. Why did you do that to me? What did I ever do? I was just a fucking child, how could you sexually abuse and rape a 7 year old child, HOW?????? You made my life a living hell, I couldn't eat, or sleep or even function because you raped me, you beat me, you terrorized me, you use to get your gun out and threaten me with it, I lived 8 years in hell with you, you were suppose to be a step father, not a terroristic pedaphile, You never regretted a damn thing you did to me, fuck you motherfucking peice of shit, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU! I was already shy, depressed and ADD at 5 years old, was on med around 6 years old, you kbew how hard life was for me and my father leaving us after abuse to marry his mistress, and she wouldn't even let me be alone with my father, she treated me like shit, I had a mother that let me be abused, a father that didn't want me and you who ruined me, you broke me, you took my fucking soul, and you never even said sorry, I see the things you did to me over and over again, I have to feel you, hear you and smell you, it nausiates me, I know you're now hiding in Texas and have the early stages of alzheimers, but I don't feel sorry for yuou, I think it's so unfair you don't have to live with the soul you stole from a troubled child, you drug us through, Kansas, Texas, Oklahoma all through all types of houses and town because you thougfht you needed to steal cars and sell and do drugs and the embelzlement, and the sexual abuse against otrher children, I HATE YOU! I hope you're fucking happy that my life will probably end by suicide sooner or later, I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY!

  2. carolyn i dont no what to say . i want to give you a giant :hug: . you can get through this, and people are listening and you are worth it sweetheart. here if needed x
  3. :hug: Carolyn
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Carolyn.
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :arms: :hug: Cazzz
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Thanks for the hugs and sorry if I wasted anyones time... :sad:
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Oh Carolyn! :sad: :hug:

    Of course you haven't wasted anyone's time! :no:

    We all love you to bits and it's important that you post when you're feeling that way. I'm so sorry to hear about your gran, and about Cloe. The things Ray has done do not bear thinking about :sad:. He is an absolute fucker and the last thing you want is for him to have any kind of last word. Please keep fighting, hon', you're such a very special person :hug:.

    Love you muchly,

    x x x
  8. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    couldn't have said it any better ^ :hug: :hug:
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :cry: don't feel like I am.
  10. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    But you are, whether you fee like it or not :hug:
  11. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    You are.

    So there.

    :hug: :hug:

    x x x
  12. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    ^ Agreed. :yes: :hug: :arms:
  13. ^
    also agree :hug: