I need to get some things out. I'm not gonna say that no one cares about me, I know that people do. I never remember to thank anybody for it though, so thank you. I quite possibly don't know that you care, but thank you nonetheless. Despite that, I'm feeling more and more isolated and different from every person I come into contact with. I'm so tired of the petty nastiness (not specifically on here but everywhere). I'm definitly no angel, I've done some pretty shitty things and I can be just as cowardly and pathetic and idiotic as anyone. But I'm not deliberately mean just for the sake of it, and that seems to have become perfectly acceptable behaviour. In fact, you're seen as weak if you don't do that. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not understood as well. I really do appriciate it when anyone takes the time to read or respond to my posts, but after spending hours trying to express exactly how I'm feeling without exaggeration or trying to get attention by threatening to harm myself it hurts to either be ignored or belittled or made fun of behind my back. I just wish I knew why I'm never considered to be worth the effort. Everybody I thought I could trust always leaves and then later on I find out they were never honest with me anyway, have even stolen off me. It's not hard to see why I don't trust anyone anymore, and more and more I keep my thoughts inside. There's a lot that I hold inside because there's no point in saying it. I just wish I could find one person who I could rely on.