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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by total eclipse, Jan 9, 2012.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    so much to deal with so overwhelmed at times the thought always in the back of ones mind
    i know i cannot leave do as my bro did
    but god how i long to be with him
    i wish things changed i wish professionals listened truly with their hearts some do but most are blinded really they chose to judge
    iam so tired not able to have a voice anymore it kills me more then they know
    if they only knew how badly therir actions and words affected the ones they are to care for perhaps they would at least try to hear.
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    I am sorry you feel you have no voice. Reading this makes me appreciate my therapist even more and I wish I could clone them for so many of you.

    I understand the overwhelming feelings, sometimes it helps to break down the thoughts or the responsibilities/jobs into manageable sections. Or for me, to write a list of what's on my mind and things buzzing around/things which needed to be done. Then I can prioritize so that I don't feel so overwhelmed by my thoughts, emotions and duties.

    I hope that you will be listened to this new year by those you want to listen. And if not, know we will listen here.

  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear total_eclipse,

    I am so sorry to hear about how you are being treated....if only the damn professional would listen and not be so narrow-minded....you are so right, he is supposed to be non-judgmental and welcoming! This annoys me...majorly. Know that I'm thinking of you....big hugs. :hugtackles:

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is not my therapist no he listens it is another that judges and will not allow me to help when i could be the eyes and ears for them
    he want me to disappear and it is working i am fading now.
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am sorry I misunderstood/assumed.

  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey TE I'm sorry they're not listening...
    don't even get me started on 'proffessionals''
    why do some think they are God!

    dont let them get the better of you hun..
    you have so much to give...they should wake up to themselves.

    we here know you are wise and helpful and we're here to listen to you anytime..
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    So many of these trained experts (I use that term lightly) are garbage! If you can make them disappear (from your life, at least) do so.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks just you know to be judged for caring i have years behind me i am not interfering i have insight i have the ability to help but this one pdoc shuts me out tells my own that she is better off gone away from me. He told me he has over 30 yrs experiance in his field i told him i respected that well why cant he respect me then i have over 30 yrs in my field
    when i go into his office i am that someone with experiance i am eyes and ears that watch my own and all i am doing is reporting as i would anyone else the observations i see.
    Her previous pdoc allowed me to be part of the team that help my daughter this pdoc does not allow t his oh god he does not see or respect my position he does not want anything i have to give he has done what so manyothers have done to me he has silenced me oh god he has returned me to that noone that nothing
    Why the hell i let him do that i don't understand I know who iam i am not her anymore yet i still feel her shame and pain What right do these professionals have to make people feel so inadequate I just want my daughter well and he is not with her only half hour a month Im sorry i just feel hopeless again i see my daughter failing at surviving letting yet again her addictions take her away letting her anorexia take her away she is leaving me again just know one cares i don't see any compassion with him her other pdoc showed compassion showed understand He may have knowledge but that is all he has. I wish her other pdoc did not have to leave but that the way thing go with this family good ones always leave You give her compassion and care you do not destroy her with you dam words your negativity your judgement oh I will try not to let him destroy me im sorry i have been so quiet lately i will try to get me back to who iam today not that other one of the past.
  9. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    Just wanted to offer my support and prayers to you at this difficult time.

    You do have such a wonderful way of seeing and hearing people. I am sorry your family is in this situation.

  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry TE that you are being treated like this...is there a way to get someone else to also be involved? I do not understand why any provider would do this, especially to a mother who loves her child as much as you do...please do not give away your goodness like that...no one's opinion can change who you are...only you can let him define you that way...I know how difficult it is to remain strong when someone is echoing the horrible voices in our head, but he is a moron and you should not listen to morons! Please let me know if you want Brooklyn to give him a call...he will not know what hit him! He has no right to hurt my friend, and I will make sure he knows that! Much caring
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    TE, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, especially when you know that you could be such a big help. If it is viable I would seriously consider seeing if you can get another psych for your daughter, if not then I would perhaps persue in reporting him to professional bodies. You are such a lovely person, kind hearted, compassionate and selfless. I wish the good didn't suffer the way you do and if I could I would carry all the load you are carrying on my shoulders. :hug:
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish someone could just get him to see i do not want to interfer i just want her safe They do not know she has yet again stopped all her meds i find them in her place in drawers stashed away i am not allowed to go into meetings or even in building they say she is an adult Dam i know she is by age yes she is an adult but her mind is a child and i know they blame me they judge me i did not want her to have schizophrenia i did not want her to hve these addictions but what they want me to do is wrong I will not abandon her i won't
    I did it their way and each time she ended on a vent near death i won't chance that again I will not play there gaimes anymore not with my childs life I wonder if they ever had a sleepless night iwonder if they know just how much guilt i feel without them puttingmore on me oh im sorry Your right Sadeyes i will not give this moron and more power i won't I need to start looking for some more help for my girl thta all use my time to help her and not to feel anymore I am good no matter what any of them think of me I am good howi wish i could just tell themallto go to you know where the place they put me in HEll no more venting now moving on using my energy for one person only my girl nomore self pity thanks for allowing me to vent and for all your compassionate responses thanks for helping me see i am someone hugs to all of you
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