I'm battling all my demons at once lately it seems. Being stood up on dates, excluded from my own Sister's (half) wedding for reasons I'll go into another time and having an ex girlfriend try and meddle with my head again knowing I can't help but love her despite the fact she has nothing but cruel intentions all the time. A glimmer of hope or at least I thought was hope at the time came when I was asked to be my best friend's Godfather to her baby that is due next year. Turns out I'm not good enough in God's eyes (my perception) as I haven't been baptised. The World is a very harsh place to live in for me and has been for years. I can't remember a day when I haven't woken up and felt blessed to have made it through another day. It doesn't evolve around me yet I feel like I'm the only one suffering (of course I'm not) but some days it wouldn't surprise me if I was some kind of human guinea pig. Having everybody say I'm a funny, caring and thoughtful guy is sweet yet confuses me as all the Women I've dated have treated me so bad and everyone is always saying "you've just got to look in the right places for the right girl" yet when I ask where there place is they don't even know. Words are no good to me, I'm no good to me. What's the use in giving a damn when all I seem to feel is condemned to a life of misery and solitude (unable to converse with people because they don't understand enough)? Who exactly is going to understand a guy in his 20's feeling like this? Men don't even discuss the word 'depression' word. I'm screwed.