Very alone!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Aug 6, 2012.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I'm battling all my demons at once lately it seems. Being stood up on dates, excluded from my own Sister's (half) wedding for reasons I'll go into another time and having an ex girlfriend try and meddle with my head again knowing I can't help but love her despite the fact she has nothing but cruel intentions all the time.

    A glimmer of hope or at least I thought was hope at the time came when I was asked to be my best friend's Godfather to her baby that is due next year. Turns out I'm not good enough in God's eyes (my perception) as I haven't been baptised.

    The World is a very harsh place to live in for me and has been for years. I can't remember a day when I haven't woken up and felt blessed to have made it through another day. It doesn't evolve around me yet I feel like I'm the only one suffering (of course I'm not) but some days it wouldn't surprise me if I was some kind of human guinea pig.

    Having everybody say I'm a funny, caring and thoughtful guy is sweet yet confuses me as all the Women I've dated have treated me so bad and everyone is always saying "you've just got to look in the right places for the right girl" yet when I ask where there place is they don't even know. Words are no good to me, I'm no good to me.

    What's the use in giving a damn when all I seem to feel is condemned to a life of misery and solitude (unable to converse with people because they don't understand enough)?

    Who exactly is going to understand a guy in his 20's feeling like this? Men don't even discuss the word 'depression' word. I'm screwed.
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    What about your support group? That is what they are for. They are peers who are experiencing the same feelings and situations as you and with them you network and support one another. Is your support group helping you in any way like that??

    The things that you mentioned above are mostly all issues caused by outside forces. Perhaps stop concerning over other people's influence on you and begin becoming your own self advocate.
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I'm battling all my demons at once lately it seems. Being stood up on dates, excluded from my own Sister's (half) wedding for reasons I'll go into another time and having an ex girlfriend try and meddle with my head again knowing I can't help but love her despite the fact she has nothing but cruel intentions all the time.
    It is a rare time indeed when problems come in a manageable 1 or 2 at a time. Regardless of how may there are at once you still can only deal with one at a time and in this manner it becomes less overwhelming. Also simply accepting there is nothing at all you can do about somethings helps shrink the workload a little.
    A glimmer of hope or at least I thought was hope at the time came when I was asked to be my best friend's Godfather to her baby that is due next year. Turns out I'm not good enough in God's eyes (my perception) as I haven't been baptised.
    Best I keep my opinion on this to myself - suffice it to say that i believe you should be proud they considered you worthy and not give a moments thought to the other
    The World is a very harsh place to live in for me and has been for years. I can't remember a day when I haven't woken up and felt blessed to have made it through another day. It doesn't evolve around me yet I feel like I'm the only one suffering (of course I'm not) but some days it wouldn't surprise me if I was some kind of human guinea pig.
    I am sorry it has been difficult for so long. Hopefully the "break" you are due will arrive soon. Depression makes all of us feel isolated and alone and no matter how easy it is to explain on a logical basis it does not change the way we "feel". Ei very new day is a blessing and a new chance - to be honest I think you have a very good overall attitude about the things that have been thrown at you and are showing a lot of strength.
    Having everybody say I'm a funny, caring and thoughtful guy is sweet yet confuses me as all the Women I've dated have treated me so bad and everyone is always saying "you've just got to look in the right places for the right girl" yet when I ask where there place is they don't even know. Words are no good to me, I'm no good to me.
    There is no "good" place, stop searching for something that sets you up to fail - if 10 people tell you to go to the park to meet "good girl" and after a week you have met nobody , in your mind you have failed even though it is not true. If an opportunity to meet somebody comes up wherever you are then take advantage of it and get to know them and see if they are decent and worth your time. If they are not move on and repeat. Finding the right person for yourself typically involves finding a lot of wrong ones in the process - not you , just life.
    What's the use in giving a damn when all I seem to feel is condemned to a life of misery and solitude (unable to converse with people because they don't understand enough)?

    Who exactly is going to understand a guy in his 20's feeling like this? Men don't even discuss the word 'depression' word. I'm screwed.
    Lots of men here discuss depression, lots of others think about it and are too scared to even try to do something about. You are a guy that is smart enough to acknowledge it and deal with it instead of pretending.



    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  4. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I'm grateful in the knowledge you guys are here. Counselling I'm afraid I'll point black refuse to get after a bad experience of having someone fall asleep midway through a session when I was younger.
     
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