Very bad

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Johnny Messina, Jul 6, 2014.

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  1. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Ok, I snapped few days ago... Some of you may know me from this forum, may know my story...
    I was drinking heavily and was on many drugs for almost 24 hours few days ago...
    I cheated on my girlfriend, I was acting like a jerk to my friends and at the end I got into a fight (verbal) with really dangerous guys, and that probably wont stop here since I was very "brave" and told them where I live... I'm 25, in last 10 years I managed to let down MYSELF, MY WHOLE FAMILY, ONLY GIRL I REALLY LOVED, MY FRIENDS..
    I have no earnings at a moment, Im complete waste... I always somehow managed to keep everything under some kind of control, but Im not sure if I'll get through this situation...
    My health is bad and like that's not enough Im killing myself on every possible way... Im crying for 2 days now.. I wish I could kill myself... I don't know, there is still picture of me living with my future wife and probably kids peacful life, that's only thing I want.. It'll never happen.. Im just wasting air on this planet and hurting people around myself and myself... Fuck, please I really don't know what to do..
     
  2. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    How should I still be brave... How should I get out of it.. I have no one to talk.. My girl is far away from me, and will be for a long time like 700 kilometeres.. My friends think Im a moron... Only one of them tried to do some "damage control".. I was stupid, but this is not isolated case.. I always do something idiotic, stupid.. can't handle the pressure.. Can't talk to my family, my mom doesn't know a shit and she would just cry for like a year if she truly knew who am I.. My dad, can't talk to him either... Spent most of my money, spending money from my family.. I really should end this..
     
  3. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    Hi Johnny
    I don´t really know what to say, just want you to know I read this and I hope you´ll find a way to feel better. Just don´t give up please. There is always a solution.

    Fátima
     
  4. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply but I really dont know how will I get through this.. For the first time I have no control over myself, I have panic attacks and Im really really messed up..
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Johnny, just want you to know you are being heard, keep talking it might help get it all out. :hug:
     
  6. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Thanks, but I think everything is over....
     
  7. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    Please don´t give up. Continue posting, PM me if you want but give yourself another chance and hold on. Things can only come better.

    Fátima
     
  8. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Hi Johhny,
    The Samaritans are brilliant if you want to talk. Non judgmental and very patient. You can ring, visit or email them. They really are good. Please try and see you Dr too and perhaps get some support from them. Be honest about how you are feeling. This forum is great too.
    Hope you get help soon.
     
  9. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    I've made some good steps in my life today.. Im not that big crybaby anymore.. but It'll be very tough honestly... I'll fight..
     
  10. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    I´m happy for you!! Keep posting, we want to know how you re doing
     
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