Hi again,it's been like 3 years since my last visit here. Things you need to know -I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder type 2. -I've managed to go to therapy for about 6 months. -Almost 3 years since I have started using drugs. -Thinking of having bpd (my last visit here was mostly about depression and self-harm) After 4 years all I can say is that nothing got better. Evolved self-mutilation with drug abuse (benzos,alcohol,weed,halucinogens + some other pills),which only made the mood fluctuations worse,even tough they would temporarily help. I've seem to become even more socially awkward,tending mostly to isolate myself and then get into depression -_- I cant work more then 2 months on the same job,feeling like a programmed robot,doing the same thing over and over again... Now the problem is I'm almost going mad everyday,feeling like living one minute and dying the other. Mood fluctuations kill me,doing drugs slowly kills me but stops the ups and downs. Also I've been in more the 5 relationships for the past year,and all I can say is that one day I would be extremely in love,and the next I wouldn't give a rats ass. For some reason I can't seem to feel love anymore,or any other positive emotions,most of the time I don't even know what I what or how I feel. I'm not giving therapy another change or any of my money... The thing that really freaks me out is the fact that I seem to have some episodes of ??. For some reason everything seems to be happening a lot faster and my thoughts go chaotic (sometimes even hearing lots of fast voices),and I can't stop them. This is happening more and more frequently and usually lasts for 15-20 minutes. What should I do? Therapy again? Stop the drugs? Just relax? I feel like I'm slowly going insane,is this the slow start of schizophrenia?