Very confusing situation, need advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by AngelofMusic39, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We're both in college, but we've been dating since high school.
    His parents are divorced. His dad's side of the family likes me and used to treat me like family, but his mother and stepfather hate me, and have been trying to break us up since we got together. Recently, they threatened to disown him, kick him out, and refuse to let him be around his little sister, unless he breaks up with me. They took his phone and sent him to another state to keep him from contacting me.
    We've been talking on the internet occasionally when he gets a chance, but it's really hard. I've struggled with depression for 6 years, and since he came into my life, my boyfriend has been one of my strongest supporters. But now we can only talk occasionally, and he's not getting back for a month. Since it happened, I've been fighting off thoughts of suicide constantly.
    I don't know what's going to happen when he gets back. I'm very scared and I've reached out to his dad's side of the family for advice and support, but they've all turned me away and told me that I should just let him go. I don't want to give up on him, but it's been very difficult to have his family turn on me, when I thought they liked me and thought of me as family too.
    Does anyone have any advice? I know it's a very complicated situation, but I'm really confused and anxious and I would appreciate some insight.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is hard when family can be so controlling and dominating I do hope in time when you both are able to move out on your own away from the hostility that perhaps your relationship will not be so distant. I think his family will see they will lose their son by being so controlling Hold on hun ok and see what happens when he returns
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through that...do you know why the mom and step dad doesn't like you? maybe you can sit down with them and talk? although that might not be an option ...is he an adult? because if he is than he should affirm himself and let them know that you're his gf and that they have no say in it....they have no right to keep him away from you....

    do you make him happy? If so why doesn't he say that to them...to sit down and have a talk with them..to let them know that he's happy with you and when they try to brake him up, it makes him sad...that they make him sad...if they want his good...then they should accept and support your relationship with him...

    that being said, maybe you should have a talk with him on what he wants, what you want...to see if you're still seeing things eye to eye...then go from there...
     
  4. He is an adult, and he says he does want to be with me. But this is not the first time they've done this; they did the same thing last summer and again last Christmas. They pretend to like me, and then a few months later they hate me and say I'm a terrible influence. I've tried talking to them, they won't be straight with me. They just say that their son has "changed" and it's because of me. He says that when he gets back home he's going to tell them that he wants to be with me no matter what and they have to get over it, but I'm not sure if I believe that. He said the same thing last summer and he never did it.
    I know the only thing I can do is wait but it's so hard. It's like every day is a challenge, I have the weight of not knowing hanging over my head all the time.
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww I'm sorry, and I understand...it is hard when people are not honest...they blame their disagreements with him on you and that's not fair...he can make his own decision and that has nothing to do with you...it's sad they don't see it....I hope it will all be okay for you :) keep us updated if you feel like it