Very few options

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iunno, Apr 27, 2009.

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  1. iunno

    iunno New Member

    My life is in the crapper.

    I had a really strong urge to commit suicide this morning, I almost did it. Sad thing is, is that feeling ashamed actually stopped me.

    So now I just want to run away. I've got nowhere to go, nobody to go with.

    I feel it's either running away or ending it, or both are that are my only options.

    Anybody felt the same? I'm actually thinking of leaving my house today, so quick responses appreciated :)
  2. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    You definitly are not alone,

    i wake up every morning wishing i had the courage to just do it.

    I've come so close, but i feel like you do, ashamed,,,, like im letting everyone down. my mum, my kids, my boyfriend.

    But i can help how i feel.....

    Nothing goes right, it all falls apart, the second it seems its looking up, everything crashes again.

    One day ill get the courage to do it, for now im just miserable, pretending to be trying to move on with my existance
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend


    i feel so sad that you are feeling so hopeless.

    it's positive that you reached out - i hope you will write more and let us know what exactly you are dealing with in your life.

    pm if you want to talk . . .

  4. iunno

    iunno New Member

    Thanks for the responses. I things get better for you littl3r3d.

    I actually left the house today, left a note in my room for my housemate saying sorry for leaving the way i did. I packed up some essentials (laptop, phone, toothbrush, change of clothes) I was walking in the park deciding what to do when I realised I left my bank card at home. So I went back and I'm at home right now. I'm gonna go into work today, and I'm gonna leave on Friday. I'm gonna give my sister a call and ask her if I can stay at hers for a few days, she lives a few hundred miles away and I won't be able to afford to go until Friday.

    I'm not telling anyone I know up here that I'm leaving, cos I wouldn't be able to tell them why. It sucks having a few close friends but noone to really talk to about what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling this way.

    Oh well, at least the trip down will be an adventure of sorts and take my mind of the suicidal urges I felt earlier.

    Having had a few hours to think and calm down since then, I realise that committing suicide is an "easy" way out. Something I definitely don't want to do. I just hope the next time I feel like that I don't just go ahead and do it.

    Thanks for the nice message mdmefontaine.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey iunno,
    Take it from someone who has been on the streets, you don't want to go there..It is one miserable life.. And dumpster diving to find something to eat is really hard.. It took me a week of starving before I could actually make myself do it..
    You have a roof over your head and a job, thats a good start..You just need to find what interests you.. Me I had no choice because I got booted out by my parents.. I ebventually joined the military and they made me grow up quick. I hated boot camp but once I was thru it and went to my MOS school it was like an eight hour job..They paid for everything and I had good friends.. You get pretty tight with your squad members,they become brothers to you who you would do anything for..
    So think real hard on giving up what you have already accomplished in your life..Make new friends, get out and do things..Take care!!
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