Very fustrate

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fpl, May 25, 2009.

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  1. fpl

    fpl Member

    I keep thinking every day about dying, but the idea of die by a way that looks like suicide is completely put aside, because I don´t want anyone to think "Oh, I has commited suicide!", mostly my family.

    So I keep thinking about planning ways to kill myself in order not to look as suicide. Everyday I think about this. Everyday! The idea of a car crash or even walking at night by dangerous places and being robbed, resist on porpuse and then be killed, are ideas I think a lot...

    It´s so frustrating wanting to die and not be possible for that to happen. I feel I just keep alive for other persons, no for me. I do this for my family.


    Regards
     
  2. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Yeah those thoughts can take over your life and than it turns in the only think you can think about. I dont know why you want to die, (because i havent seen you before, welcome btw) im sure you have good reasons for it, but you need to try to think positive, i know its hard, but try to think of things why you want to live, not just for others. I guess that already is a good thing tho, if you want to live for your family, at least most of the time that means you got a good family, maybe they can support you with this too?
     
  3. fpl

    fpl Member


    Hi, Julie!

    I have a great family and I have very good friends. They support me with my problem, mostly my family. I´m 31 and I had several women to date, but this case I´m going through is tearing me apart. If you haven´t read the thread explaining my problem, here it is:

    http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=63704


    Many people say it is silly to think about suicide or dying only because of loveache. The question is that I have many issues that are making me feel REAL bad, mostly the fact of having been "replaced" by another guy and having to see him and the woman I´ve been with everyday at my work.

    I have a bad self-esteam and I´m always comparing me with other men. So, knowing that she accepted me back but was very close to him and then dumped be to be with him, makes me feel I´m the worse man in the world. I feel guilty of all, and that I´m pathetic. To me he is the best man of all and he is best than me in everything.

    It´s very painfull. I have days that when I´m in bed I just pray to die during my sleep and not wake in the next morning. Many of you would think: "He has a great family and friends, he should be like this!". I don´t know why, but love issues make feel that nothing more is important...


    Regards
     
  4. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I have been trying to think of a "natural" way myself, just to save face for the sake of my friends and family...
     
  5. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    no i dont think that about you :eek:hmy: lots of people have good friends and a great family and are here on sf. If you have that, it doesnt mean you cant feel depressed/suicidal. I can understand why you feel so horrible, if you have to see the woman you love with that man every day at work, i think everyone would die every day a little more. I know it sounds silly, but you could consider another job, lol yes it sounds silly, sorry. AND, you shouldnt be so hard on yourself, youre not the worst man in the world, relationships are hard, i dont think you are the guilty one or pathetic. Sorry, i dont know what else to say, but thats because im not a love expert >.<
     
  6. fpl

    fpl Member

    I have plus 4 months of contract. Then I´ll leave that job.

    The fault is all mine. Although she was not correct with me for having accepted me back, being already so close to him, she did always everything for our relationship when we where together. I blame myself for everything. Why did I broke up? Why? But, what should I think about a woman who says that loves you very much and 3 weeks later is already so close to another man? Don´t know...

    I lost her and now I have to see her everyday with him! And the fault is all mine. I just pray to die as quick as possible.
     
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