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Very ill friend.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jehuty, Sep 27, 2011.

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  1. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Hey, a couple of weeks ago a good friend heard she has cancer and she yesterday told me about it.
    Starting from today she's in the hospital for medical treatment and they are not even sure if it will help, pretty much a 50% chance.
    She doesn't live close by so I can't visit her, so the only way to hear from her is over Facebook but I don't think she'll be able to get on it soon.

    It makes me feel extremely sad and when I think about it, it's like my stomach turns up side down.
    Also hardly was able to get sone sleep.

    I hope there's someone here I can talk to over PM or MSN, I readily don't know how to cope with this.
    No one here to talk about it really, don't wanna tell my mother because it will hurt her to know I'm feeling so down again.

    Really hope if there's someone to talk to or has advice, or anything.
    Would really appreciate it.
  2. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Sorry to here about your friend Jehuty. We all cope differently with these situations. What generally helps me is focusing not so much on my own feelings as on what I can do to support the person during these difficult times. Small gestures, even just a pretty card, can go a long way in letting know the person that we care, and this can make a world of difference for that person.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Jehuty. :hug: Things like that make us all feel helpless.

    Give yourself and your friend as much positive energy as you can. There is a positive 50% chance here (and not just the negative 50%). Concentrate on that positive for both of you.

    Try to accept that "worrying" doesn't actually "change" the situation, it just wears us out with what if. For me, the hardest part of things like that is the "unknown." So, I try to focus on what I do know. In your shoes, I'd focus on knowing you're friends, and that you can be there for her as Isabel suggested with a couple of pretty cards, "Just sending you good wishes." Maybe you could put together a collage of photos of times you've spent together, or could simply call her once a week to say hello.

    You are always welcome to PM me and let me know how you're feeling. It can be stressful. I'm sending good thoughts and hopes for you and your friend, hun. :hug:
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    I agree with what others have posted. It is very difficult to deal with something unknown. And, as hard as it is for us to deal with this type of news, its also very difficult for those going through treatment or facing such a diagnosis.

    I would certainly be there for your friend, as much as you can be. Distance is difficult, but like others said - sending cards and letters while they are undergoing treatment would definitely help lift their day.

    I also agree to concentrate on the positive 50% - and remember that statistics and prognosis aren't an exact science. Some people close to me have outlived their original prognosis, so there is always hope, even when it doesn't feel like it.

    And finally, remember to take care of yourself, without doing that you can't be there for your friend.

  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry to hear about this but glad you decided to come and seek support...please PM me if I can help...thinking of you
  6. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Really still feel horrible, last time I spoke she said she feels really weak and tired.
    Could be the medicine working, probably, I dunno.
    The only person I knew with cancer was my grandpa, that was when I was young.

    I'm very scared, I don't believe in any religion but I did pray tonight.
    It did make me feel a little better, dunno why.

    I'm really, really worried...
  7. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Sending kind thoughts to you and your friend. I hope to hear about how she's doing as time goes on.
  8. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. The unknown is always hard. I'll send all my thoughts to the both of you!
  9. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Thank you guys.
  10. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Just heard her chances of staying alive decreased... :cry:
  11. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Her sister went offline, haven't heard anything from her.
    I'm so scared she passed away, I dunno what to do. :cry:
  12. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Put an image in your mind of you holding your friend's hand. Feel her hand in yours, and tell her how much she means to you. See her surrounded in golden light, and know you want the best for her. Wherever she is, whatever is happening, you know you hold her in your heart with love.
  13. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Still heard nothing, she must be gone.
    I didn't even say goodbye. :cry:

    Don't know what to do.
  14. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    It's been 6 hours without hearing anything. :cry:
  15. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    My thoughts are with you all.
  16. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    She made it, she's still asleep, I hope she'll wake up soon.
    If she wakes up everything will be alright, the cancer should then be completly gona in 3 to 4 weeks.
  17. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Jehuty, I gather she was in surgery? The recovery room process after surgery varies from person to person, so she may just be coming out of the anesthetic. It can take a while. Keep hoping, being positive, sweetie. :hug:
  18. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Just heard she probably went into coma, not sure what to think of that..
  19. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Doctors said she now has a 80% chance to survive.
    Other then the coma, she's in a healty condition.
  20. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Jehuty, I'm glad the news is better now. :hug: Stay positive! Keep your spirits up, sweetie. :)
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