I have been feeling depressed chronically on and off since the 5th grade, now in 10th. Never bothered to tell anyone, I've been like this for so long that it just seems like it's part of my personality. But lately I've actually gotten to the point of wanting to kill myself. I told my mom I've been feeling depressed, but she doesn't believe me, thinks I'm lying. Not sure what to do at this point, the only reason I'm not dead right now is I have no ensured methods of doing it. I've considered my future prospects, and since I can't focus in school I'm going to have terrible grades this term, which destroys my chance of getting into college. Even if I did I know my lack of focus will cause me to fuck up whatever I end up doing. My life has been getting worse and worse starting back in 5th grade, and I'm quite positive the trend will continue. Just seems easiest to save myself the pain of failing at life and die now.