Very low self esteem

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by 2ndCity773, Jul 29, 2012.

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  1. 2ndCity773

    2ndCity773 Active Member

    Im 24. 6'3" and about 220 pounds. Im a natural bodybuilder and I have a lot of issues. I suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder. If you put 2 and 2 together its pretty obvious what I obsess over. Lately what's been bothering me is a part of my body I can't change which is my penis. It's just below what i guess ppl would say is average. What really makes me upset is the girth. Im this big guy with such a little penis. Its only 2 inches flaccid. WTF?! I just dont know what to do anymore. Its gotten to the point where suicide may be imminent. I hate not being able to do anything about it. And this accept what you have theory ppl throw out there all the time is BS to me. I strive to be the best at things but this is the one thing I cant change. My wife says that its fine but thats not even making me feel better. I just dont know what to do anymore.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    From my somewhat limited experience with seeing naked men, your size seems at least "normal" to me. Now I will give you the standard talk that women will give to you: It's not the size that counts, it's the way the whole of you - body, mind, spirit - shows love to your partner.

    Your wife is happy, so really, you're set. Allow her love and wisdom to reach your heart so you don't worry about this anymore. :smile:
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Do you love your wife? Are you happy with her? Do you enjoy making love to her? Does she love you? Is she happy with you? Does she enjoy making love to you? If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then it really doesn't matter.

    I happen to have a slightly above average sized penis. I should be happy, right? Well let me ask you this... does it matter what size your penis is if you are a 33 year old virgin?

    The answer is no... no it does not. Quite frankly, it doesn't matter if I have 2 inches or 12. At least you have been able to please women with yours. I might as well be a eunuch, for all the good mine has done me. Even if I do somehow manage to lose my virginity before I die, I'm probably going to be absolutely horrible at sex. I'm already well past my prime and I have zero experience. I picture my first experience going one of two ways: either one, I ejaculate prematurely; or two, I'm so nervous that I can't even attain an erection. I've accepted that I will probably die a virgin. And nobody is ever going to give a shit how big my penis is.
  4. 2ndCity773

    2ndCity773 Active Member

    So I've tried to make myself feel better about my issue by busting out the tape measure in hopes that I will see numbers that will make me say screw it im at least average. But now I feel worse. Im barely 5 inches long and only 4 inches in girth. I seriously can't deal with living like this. My wife has been making comments about black guys and their big cocks and its making me crazy. Working out doesn't work anymore and that's my life. Bodybuilding used to give me confidence but now that's not working. I'm desperate. Any input is greatly appreciated. It doesn't have to be sugar coated either.
  5. cheerios652

    cheerios652 New Member

    I can tell you that I have never cared about penis size. Most women couldn't give a care about it. It's all about how you use your hands, your tongue, your body movements. The biggest turn on for me is when my partner SHOWS me exactly how bad they want me, how much they want to connect with me, how much they love me. It's the way they move, the things they say, the way they look at me, if they're generous rather than selfish in bed. Whether it's a frenzied "I can't wait another minute" love session or it's tender, slow, and super intimate, it's all about intention and action. Even if your wife jokes about black guys, she doesn't give an actual care about their dicks; it's just a passing comment, much like "Oh Jonny Depp is so cute!" It has NOTHING to do with you. I've joked about black guys to my boyfriend. I can tell you it never entered my head to compare his penis to theirs, and he knows that. I don't care about his penis size. I care that he takes the time to satisfy me in the bedroom, and lets me satisfy him! I hope this helps in some way. You are completely fine the way you are. The only person it matters to is you! If your wife is happy with your lovemaking, you're set!
  6. 2ndCity773

    2ndCity773 Active Member

    Thank you and that did help :)
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    In my experience it's not how big it is that matters, it's what you do with it that counts. Besides, define a normal penis? They come in all shapes and sizes. Personally, I'd hate it if my fiance had an uber big penis because it would hurt too much.
  8. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    I honestly couldn't care less how big a boyfriend/husband/whatever's penis size is. There's several things I want in a prospective significant other, such as trustworthiness, faithfulness, loving personality, but a big penis? Not even on the list. I couldn't care less. And I know I'm not alone in that. If your wife says it's fine, then don't worry about it! It doesn't make you any less of a man or less of a good person. I don't see what the big deal is with penis size anyway, it's nothing to be proud of 'cause the didn't do anything to have it, they were born with it. Big = good, anyway. No Ron Jeremy for me, thanks! You're just fine the way you are. What really matters is you personality, your character traits.
  9. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    If someone loves you and you love them then it doesnt matter. I get that you might feel awkward about it but if your wife loves you and you love her then good for you mate. Seriously, thats getting rarer and rarer. And shes a lucky woman that youre so concerned.
  10. 2ndCity773

    2ndCity773 Active Member

    The anxiety still kills me. I hate how I can rationalize my issue but I still feel depressed and insecure over my size. Pretty soon im going to have to buy condoms again because my wife is coming off birth control and im too nervous to buy small condoms because I can't help but think the girlbehind the counter is judging me. I know it sounds stupid but I can't help it. Taking showers at the gym is even hard too... I do appreciate everyones input. Its not like I can talk about this issue in person but communicating is the only thing that helps get it off my chest.
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