I'm 33. I think that's older then most people here. I've been depressed most of my life and I don't think there is much hope of my getting better now. Been medicated since 17. In therapy several times (including now). Have managed to stay working most of the time, but otherwise just barely getting by. Existing, not living. Now look like I might be about to lose my job because of this. Losing home because of boyfriend's ex-wife pushing him to sell. Look like having to move home with my parents. Failure. Freak. Few friends. Am now thinking in terms of timing and methods for ending it all. I love my parents so much, but I can't live through this. I don't want to. I want everything to stop. I've run out right out from the cliff edge, right into empty space and now I'm just waiting to fall.