Very silly

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Feb 12, 2014.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Today I told someone my plan, the grand plan. They understood without me explaining much. Once this thing that is going on right now is done, there's nothing left for me. Overly dramatic? Perhaps, but not really to me as that's how I see it. Once I opened my mouth I regretted it. I shouldn't have. I don't do those types of things. Silly, silly me.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    No. I don't find it melodramatic at all. I do hope you can find some significant help soon. Because usually when someone does this sort of thing, and they don't mean to, or it's against their nature, it's not a good sign. Maybe it was your subconscious speaking? Only guessing (& not suggesting)... You've still got a purpose here. Even if you can't see it.
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you mister.
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I hate this, I hate my lack of control over myself, my mind, my weakness. I hate this, this stupidity. This inability of mine. This lack of ability. The lack of progress, the continuous efforts that all end up in vain. The lack of any sort of talent or similar. The sheer ignorance which I own. So stupid, silly and delusional.
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    As your friend, I am relieved and grateful that you told someone about the plan you have.

    And as your friend I do disagree with how you describe yourself. You say you lack any sort of talent. I see this is being the opposite of the real truth of you. You are amazingly talented. I am not the only person who thinks that. Another friend of mine is very impressed with your creative gifts. And she is usually highly critical. Partly because she is a teacher.

    I very much disagree with your assessment "sheer ignorance, stupid, silly and delusional. i know you are in phenomonal pain. i see progress that you have made. And maybe at certain times you do see it also. The thing is that you really do keep trying.

    I am sorry the pain is so great. And I do know the pain is all too real. I really think that what I call "a grace" will sometime come for you. A grace that wlll somehow make it possible to do what seems not possible. Please stay safe, Mo. I do care so much :hug:

    ps: for what its worth, I hate the lack of control I have over myself. My weakness over my mind. Just wanted to say that I too hate this within myself. I am not sure that for you it is weakness. I do not believeit is. I think it is sheer woundedness. Great woundedness
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2014
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Yes, it wasn't the "right" person that I should have told.... It was more in the middle of a conversation with someone else who I'm not sure heard me. Which is fine, because it kind of slipped out before I realized it.

    It doesn't matter anyhow either way.

    Been a mess today, unsure completely why. Topped it off with being bitten by a dog... Not mine. That just made me lose it, lots of tears about being so unable to do things. Why bother?
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo, I am here if and when you want to talk. I am sorry you got bitten. And I am sorry you are hurting so very deeply. For what it is worth, I am sending healing light your way. :hug:
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you.
  9. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    I care too... went to leave a message and my heart sank to see you hurting so... you are so much more... so much more than what you feel or can see right now... in the woods its hard to see the path for the trees... :arms: VERY silly dog... NOT silly you, hope you can feel the care from everyone here :grouphug: