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Very strong desire to go, but so lonely...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by physician, Aug 26, 2010.

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  1. physician

    physician Well-Known Member

    I have a very strong desire to go, but i can't do it alone.
    It is so absurd. Everybody dies alone, but I need someone to hold me or be with me when dying. People want to die alone but i'm afraid.

    What do I do? I think of dying every second but when is time to do it I get afraid and i need someone around me......to do it with me or to just hold my hand. maybe because i've always been so alone.

    it gets on my nervs
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Depending on how deep I am in suicidal thinking, that is usually a thought that comes to me too. Actually almost every time I've been at the edge it has crossed my mind. It'd be pretty amazing right?

    But at the same time I think if I actually had someone there that loved me enough to hold my hand while I ended my suffering, I wouldn't need to end it anymore because I'd have love. I get to the point of being so lonely, even if I have people around me, that I'd rather die than experience that loneliness anymore. So maybe it's more about that than actually wanting to die. Here's a gigantic hug for you :arms:

    We :heart: you.
  3. immadeofrainbow

    immadeofrainbow Well-Known Member

    It's human nature to want someone with you, I mean, who really want's to be truly alone? Personally, my best friend mkakes me feel like it's not just me. I feel fine anytime he's around me, now he's around me almost all of the time. But I guess as you kknow you can't have that 24/7, when it gets real bad and real low, i don't blame you for getting scared, I mean, it's all nature not to want to be alone when you don't know what's going to happen or why or where, but just remember, your never alone. Even if theres not someone physically there with you :)
  4. Tome811

    Tome811 Member

    I'm alone every day here. Whether I stay or go, it's all alone. When I get out, which I hate having to do every single time, I'm alone. No one cares. I will not be missed when I go. No one will feel anything because no one feels anything with me sitting here, alone. How could they feel hurt or miss me in any way when they don't care if I live or die? I don't belong here and again, I will NOT be missed.

    Only possible way I could ever be missed is through the bill collections seeing me only as a source for their income. Not a reason for me to wish to stay here.
  5. 000000

    000000 Well-Known Member

    I don't want to die alone either and would like to have someone come along with me and keep me company. It would make it a lot easier if I knew someone would be there by my side. The only thing that is stopping me is the thought of never seeing my beautiful baby's face again.
  6. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    Your words ring true hon..

    As much as I loathe and hate this world I just want to be able to let someone hold me whilst I slip away..Do not suffer this alone..Please contact me..

    I have no answers, only a strong empathy for thee & a wish to leave
  7. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    That just means your body is still healthy. It's a survival instinct. Your body doesnt want to die but your mind is telling you that you want to. But it's part of your brain telling you that you don't want to die. If you think you need someone there with you when you die then you probably just need someone to understand and bear with your moods as you LIVE. Speaking from experience it's not easy to find someone to be there with you when you are dying by un-natural circumstances. There is alot to consider and lack of trust is one of them.
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