very very angry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coffee, Nov 24, 2009.

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  1. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    what is really wrong with suicidal thoughts and actually dying that way...

    are you going to take all my pains?

    Are you going to live my life for me?

    are you going to go through hell for me?

    no... no one can take away my pains or the past or more pains in the future.

    Please stop saying that you care... of course you want to say that
    cuz that's right thing to do, and if I really kill myself, it will hurt you.
    so, in the end, you are telling me to survive so you don't have to go through your pains if I really end up killing myself.

    I do agree that I am being slefish to think about killing myself
    but you have to agree that you are also being very very selfish so I don't kill myself. as if you are going to take away all my pains...

    no one will, no one can take away my pains cuz they are MINE.
    My problems...
    I have to deal with it.


    share what???

    so funny....

    I am not talking about sharing cakes or books...

    how can you share pains???
    it's not sharing... it's giving...
    whatever.... I am just so angry...
    angry at everything for everything...

    so fucked up...
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can so relate to what your saying, I'm going through similar anger at this moment...sometimes being told that they care is just not enough...the pain is just too strong and all you want to do is destroy everything in your path...scream at the top of your lungs and just rage on...I could throw everything in my appartment right now...

    But what I've realised right now is that talking about it with others does help...sure not right away it takes maybe a few minutes of talking back and forth but then when you've let it all do feel better and can see a bit more least this is what's happening to me right now...

    keep talking about it...people are listening...
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yea, sounds scary but I like to smash things when I'm angry. Once we had to chuck these big cupboards of our deck from the 2nd story of the house because we were renovating the kitchen. And just watching them go slam into the ground was kind of funny :D. Then me and my siblings pulled them apart with hammers and so on. I'd say I've been a semi destructive person all my life, I used to smash those little Matchbox cars under bricks for some reason :blink:.

    Oh and if you cannot share your pains, GIVE us them :). It can be toxic if you hold them in :(.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Coffee...sometimes the pain hurts so much we do not see anything other than that...I have been there more times then I care to remember...but I do know that there are ppl here who want to listen (read) and support, ultimately, no one but you can take your pain away, but maybe we can provide a respite where it is not all encompassing for those few minutes..big hugs, J
  5. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey coffee,

    Unfortunately, that's all we can do on the forum here. We can't live your life for you, we can't take away your pain, we can't even give you a real hug. But we can tell you we care (you don't need to know someone to care for them). We can listen to your problems, and help you to figure out a way forward. We can be there for you when you either have no one to turn to or don't want to tell people in real life.

    I know it's hard. But unfortunately when a person doesn't want help or isn't ready to be helped (I'm not saying you are), there is very little we can do. That's where listening comes in.

    Don't underestimate the power of sharing your troubles with others. Even by just writing out what you feel, you often discover things you don't know about yourself. Having someone there to give you a different perspective can make a big difference.. And I don't know why, but often just knowing that my problems are out there now, and I'm not alone gives me relief for some reason.

    Like everything in life, unfortunately there is no magical cure to take away your pain. And SF is no exception. But its a wonderful place full of people who actually care and more importantly have been there themselves.

    Sure, that is a reason why people don't want you to commit suicide, but most of the time it's NOT the defining reason. Fearing pain is an effect of the situation, it's not a cause for caring.

    I sincerely hope you do decide to share here and let us be there for you. Not for our sakes, but for yours.

    Anyway, all the best to you and take care!

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