very very upset

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by starryeyed, Apr 3, 2011.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    So today is Mothers day and we all went out .My sister drove ,as soon as she got there she started drinking and screaming in the restaurant at my mother.
    Then she got up in the middle of dinner saying she was going to the loo.I went after her and she wasnt there .She obviously went to the bar drinking.Shes a chronic alco.When she came back ,I asked her where she was and she said in the toilet ,lied to my face even though she hadnt been there.Then we went up to pay and she refused to give me any money .I had to foot the bill .Im sick out of work and on benefit.Shes working full time and got 20 grand in a claim couple months ago.She had money in her hand and refused to give it to me.Im honestly at breaking point with her ,I broke down crying I was so upset and I never cry after spending months in hospital crying .Then she drove home swerving all over the road.yet my mother cant see this and said I was the one with the problem and didnt even say thanks for dinner but was all about my sister .
    I did an exam to get into uni here and I got the highest score out of everyone who did the exam ,as in hundreds of people .Nobody cared ,no one said well done (my family) ,I got 100% in the writing ,I am chuffed but it hurts that no one is proud of me ,and that my parents have more time for my sister who abuses them and is a violent drunk.
    Im broke now but its not about the money ,its the principle .Plus she was in the bathroom screaming and it was mobbed there ,I was mortified .I dont know why I keep giving her chances,she makes me sick .
  2. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    well the saying is true you can choose your friends but you cant choose family.... i would say this your sister is bringing you down pure and simple and you know that.... so you need to make it clear that you wont take her behaviour any more... tell her unless she gets help and can prove she is you dont want to know.... i know this sounds harsh but sometimes you need to look after yourself.... live your life... if she chooses to destroy her own... tough....
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Thanks I have done and said all this before .What I have gone through with her is too much.I have been stuck in the car with her plastered often and been in bars with her that I had to go to after working all day and carry her home.She wont listen and has my parents wrapped around her finger .She is always screaming at me ,to go and hang myself and all about how she visited me when I had a nervous breakdown.I had it over 5 years ago and shes always brining it up cos theres not much else she can throw at me.She said today that i was the one with the problem not her ,the reason shes getting away with this is my parents are backing her up.I know Ill def get into uni now so at least I have that to look forward to but i find it very hard as Im really sick and I just hope Im well enough to go to college.
    My dad gave her the car keys one day when she could barely stand .According to him she was sober.You cant get through to them ,its hard cos we are all living together and if my sister speaks to me and I ignore her then my mother shouts at me for hours about how I have to be nice to her .Even though she would have spent the weekend abusing me morning till night .
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about joining some support group for family members of people with alcohol problems. It may help you.

    What are you going to do at uni?

  5. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Study English .I have no confidence ,I really should go to al anons .I cant take anymore from her ,seriously .No one seems to realise how bad she is ,only me .She screams from morning to night and the neighbours have rang the guards and my parents say its my fault which is crazy cos I stay in my room to get away from her .Which she has banged and kicked huge holes in when she was drunk.She freely admitted she pretends to not remember her abusing me cos then shell get away with it.Im at the point where I wish she was dead.I think Im a bad person then for thinking that .Im going crazy.
    No one seems to be affected by it ,but me .
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