Very weird call

[LILICHIPIE]

Its 8:30 am here
When I talk to my parents I pretend everything is all right; besides that Im tired but they are used to it
I havent been to college for about a month and All I think about is struggling with my own desires of dying

THIS MORNING my mom who barely calls me called me to ask me if everything was really all right and If I was really going to classes
I said yeah of course why you are so upset why are u so worried

She told me very seriously that she woke up this night at 4 am or so from an awful nightmare saying that she saw i was very upset and in terror and that i wasnt going to college because I was ill and upset

I didnt know what to say lol
For the record im about to do it very soon and this is going to be prolly my last week end
It just amazes me in a strange questionning way that she had such a dream

This call makes me dizzy and weird
is there a psychic connection in this lol

Did you feel that something was strange before something really upsetting happened
what do u think

 

[An Angel in Black]

Its 8:30 am here
When I talk to my parents I pretend everything is all right; besides that Im tired but they are used to it
I havent been to college for about a month and All I think about is struggling with my own desires of dying

THIS MORNING my mom who barely calls me called me to ask me if everything was really all right and If I was really going to classes
I said yeah of course why you are so upset why are u so worried

She told me very seriously that she woke up this night at 4 am or so from an awful nightmare saying that she saw i was very upset and in terror and that i wasnt going to college because I was ill and upset

I didnt know what to say lol
For the record im about to do it very soon and this is going to be prolly my last week end
It just amazes me in a strange questionning way that she had such a dream

This call makes me dizzy and weird
is there a psychic connection in this lol

Did you feel that something was strange before something really upsetting happened
what do u think

like i telepathy, physicics and stuff yes. to be honest poeple only use not more than 10% of their brai at one time, can u imagine what would happen if we could use more than 10? ive heard of some tremendous gits that poeple hav, and i believe they have them because theyre special. but yeh something happened like that last summer, when i was at the hose by mself for like 6 months, i couldnt afford college, so i told my parents everything was ok and that i was going to college and so forth. my mom also had one of those drems!!LOL Do it very soon? Y? Please dont leave me, youve become one of my best friends, please? pretty please?:sad:

 

[thedeafmusician]

I'm not surprised. My own mum did something similar once.

TDM

 

[EvolutionFails]

I've had something like that. I usually don't remember my dreams. Then for about 2 or 3 weeks in high school, I vividly remember having a different classmate of mine die every night in a different dream. A week after school ended for the year, my dreams stopped the same night that 3 students died in a car crash.

 

[Entoloma43]

Could just be a coincidence, there's no real way to differentiate if it's more than that.

 

[Dave_N]

Hi Agnes. Dreams like that I consider to be premonitions. They are stronger than regular dreams and they feel very real. Your mom may have a psychic connection to you, since your her daughter and she loves you very much. I just have a bad feeling that when your parents find out about your death, they might contemplate suicide too. And that would be a hell of a lot of karmic weight to carry hun.

 

[LILICHIPIE]

like i telepathy, physicics and stuff yes. to be honest poeple only use not more than 10% of their brai at one time, can u imagine what would happen if we could use more than 10? ive heard of some tremendous gits that poeple hav, and i believe they have them because theyre special. but yeh something happened like that last summer, when i was at the hose by mself for like 6 months, i couldnt afford college, so i told my parents everything was ok and that i was going to college and so forth. my mom also had one of those drems!!LOL Do it very soon? Y? Please dont leave me, youve become one of my best friends, please? pretty please?:sad:

Hun thanks
How are u doing this morning yourself
This call freaked me out thats so weird because she sounded convincing
thank you so much for your kind words; you too have become a great friend
We have to talk very soon hun
I cant promise you to do anything since I cant promise anything to anyone right now
Im lost and thats all I can say
Just slept 3 hours tonight and well I feel "up" again
love you

 

[LILICHIPIE]

Hi Agnes. Dreams like that I consider to be premonitions. They are stronger than regular dreams and they feel very real. Your mom may have a psychic connection to you, since your her daughter and she loves you very much. I just have a bad feeling that when your parents find out about your death, they might contemplate suicide too. And that would be a hell of a lot of karmic weight to carry hun.

I know Dave
Still in shock as my mom sounded convincing
and she barely calls me so that might be a strong cosmic connection
I wont be surprised if she felt this last night that when I commit it; she will know somehow
As for them contemplating suicide I dont think so

 

[Smashed__]

I don't know what to think, honestly.

I would bet when you do pass, and she finds out you hadn't been to class in sometime and were so bad she'll always think she could/should have done more. I know mine would regardless of a phone call like that. :unsure:

 

[Alastair]

like i telepathy, physicics and stuff yes. to be honest poeple only use not more than 10% of their brai at one time, can u imagine what would happen if we could use more than 10? ive heard of some tremendous gits that poeple hav, and i believe they have them because theyre special. but yeh something happened like that last summer, when i was at the hose by mself for like 6 months, i couldnt afford college, so i told my parents everything was ok and that i was going to college and so forth. my mom also had one of those drems!!LOL Do it very soon? Y? Please dont leave me, youve become one of my best friends, please? pretty please?:sad:

as i understand it we do, the human brain is efficient to the point that it doesnt need to use more than 10% at any one time

the whole thing seems rather fortuitous...

The River was flooding its banks and the waters were rising around Clem's house. The waters had gotten to the level of the front porch where Clem was standing. A man in a rowboat came by and called to Clem, "Hop in and I'll take you to high ground."
Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river continued to rise to the second story windows and Clem, looking out, saw a powerboat come up. The man in the powerboat called to Clem, "Hop in and I'll take you to high ground."
Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river had now risen to the roof of the house. Clem was sitting on the ridge at the top of the house, with the waters swirling around his feet. He saw a helicoptor fly over and the people inside yelled over a bull horn, "Grab the rope and climb in and we'll take you to high ground." Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river continued to rise and finally it engulfed the house and Clem was drowned. The next thing he knew, Clem was standing before his God. In anger, he asked God,

"I put my trust in you. Why have you forsaken me?"

And his God replied,

"What more do you want from me? I sent you a rowboat, a powerboat, and a helicopter!"

 

[SweetSurrender]

Hey hun - i thought i'd have my 2 cents worth like everyone else. Yeh sorry i'm new here so you don't know me but i hope you don't mind me posting a reply.
Firstly i've gotta say i'll probably be reiterating what most other people say here because after all this is a suicide support forum, although somedays looking around it does not always feel that way. Do you ever get the feeling that this forum is an strange concept, most of the people on here are in extreme need but all most of them have is support from people who are in the same position themselves because obviously this forum is not needed anymore for those that have made it through their suicidal crisis. Plus i've noticed that a lot of members have not yet sought professional help for one reason or another. Any thoughts on this? I mean don't get me wrong, it is a great place, hell i came here myself didn't i, but is it healthy to have depressed people help depressed people....mmm...

Anyway, you seem dead-set (no pun intended) on your plans, you have obviously been in a hell of a lot of pain for a long time. I have agitated depression myself which is a lot like mixed state bipolar depression and it is absolutely hellish at times because i have the energy to pace around but the mindset to stay in bed and sleep...
Suicide is a last option in my opinion. It is the point when you feel there is absolutely no hope at all, no other medications that could possibly make you better, noone around you that cares, nothing. If i'm looking at this in my opinion you are not at this end yet because there is hope for you - there is the lithium (that even you think could help!) and there are you family and friends in france who care deeply about you.
But you need to ask for that help hun. I know you are proably so tired of asking, but ask one more time!! You have nothing to lose afterall. If it doesn't work you still have your plans. Your pdoc is probably not aware of the absolute pain that you were in. If you told him exactly(!!!) what you were contemplating and the extent to which you had the plans in place he would immediately changes your meds. I have no doubts about this. On your other post someone said that pdocs are not objective, well of course they aren't - its a caring profession but hell they're not super-human they can't read your mind. You called them a few days ago, no matter what you post back i believe if you truly reflect you will find that you still have that spark of hope because that does not extinguish till life slips away from you. It doesn't otherwise you would not keep writing on here, you wouldn't care enough to.
Bipolar is an illness, it is not an illness that has to take your life - it is not terminal - it can be treated but you do need the right combination of medications. Personally i've been on 4 types so far and i still have not got it right because sometimes i feel apathetic too and swing wildly mood-wise. I feel that you have let these suicide thoughts wander around your mind for so long that you are now blind to the hope around you. This is not a criticism, it has happened to me too, but prehaps in the next few days forget the plans (they are there you don't have to think about them anymore now) and instead use all your energy to focus on the good things you have. You are not bipolar - you have bipolar. It doesn't dictate who you are or what you can do. When you sit in front of that sunset instead of thinking wishfully about the relief, prehaps try and think about all the things that could be. There is medications and people out here in the world who will support you, you do not have to fight this all on your own. Let them in to your heart, feel their generosity and love. Love substains all life. You are loved.
I do not support suicide - i support YOU!

 

[forlorn]

My mother reads my mind i dont have to tell her. You recently visited yours, she knows somethings very wrong. She woke in the night because she knows shes not in control of what you do. She rang at 4am because she wanted reassuring you were alright. There is a connection, its called love. Dont do it to her Agnes, I beg you. She will be waking in the night seeing you hanging there for the rest of her life. Youll condemn everyone that knows you to eternal grief.

Reach out and you will be healed

 

[An Angel in Black]

i love you too..i hate the thought of losing someone else i love, and if things keep going the way they are i have set a date, just soley because i cannot bear the pressure anymore. i stopped believeing in god actually, and said f**k my faith, for the longest time, i refused to even pray..until last night. i told god if there was such a thing, if he could help you get better, i wouldnt care what happened to me, he can throw me in hell, idont care..but i told him hed better help u!! >_< please dont leave me agnes..oh yeah i forgot, im calling u big sis..LOL please dont leave me big sis..!! please..if youre on a lost road at the moment, i wish i could take your hand and show you to safety...i just hope you feel better.. youve made such a difference on the forums, and have cheered me up many times, and i dont want to lose anyone else..hang in there sweety!!^_^

 

[SadDude87]

Mothers intuition. I am the most atheistic, scientific person you will know ... but I do believe mothers have a special sense regarding their children. My mum has made similar correct observations with me.