anyone had this, any experiences? mine are: i gave myself away intentionally when i was out of it with my ex and collapsing from anorexia and self harming. i was then molested/raped by her but then again- i did it myself because i just hated myself so much. i did actually write something similar when i was at that age before other stuff happened, but i was dissociating- and looking at myself from others perspectives, that was not me talking- the other being the clueless who were people all around me going on about "you do it to yourself" and self destruction and it's all up to you why you do this! i wasn't there, so absorbed everything they said and believed it. i've had that from a therapist who also took advantage of me (signed consent form for a study when manic and about to collapse and this was the deciding factor for me leaving her sessions it was PRECISELY to do with my ex and what happened in those first two years) and 3 other people who liked to damage me because i yell at others and THEIR responsibilities, who have no clear values and like to think i did it myself. all i can say was that i was used to being treated like shit didn't know anything else, thought what i was in was love for so long, so stuck with it because i needed safety/contact and had no where to stay. i asked for it. okay? my mother actually once said that my sister "provoked" my father. i went mental. and when i think of the above i feel so disgusted- there are no words. so maybe i should just stick with that feeling of complete disgust at those few people who reacted to me in that way, rather than listening to their rot. i think what disgusts me more is that those few people claim moral high ground and defend their 'morality' to the point where they come out with such bullshit reflecting who they really are.