I am not the one on the outside. This is a rambling based on a talk with someone who is. An acquaintance of mine recently had to attend the funeral of one of her good friends who committed suicide. I hated seeing how devastated she was, and how it messed her up. I was in the middle of a crisis and was planning on doing the same. Her reaction stopped me. I didn't want any of my friends to have to go through that. And then I started to wonder if they really would. I'd like to think so. One of my best friends told me he would have been devastated... but how many would really be affected? Something the acquaintance said really upset me. And I've heard it from more than just her. People who have not suffered from depression or been suicidal don't understand. They don't see how real it is. She said something to the effect of not getting how someone could want to do this, etc. Sometimes though, it is more of a need than a want. The urges and feelings are so strong and overpowering that it is the only thing that makes sense, even though from the outside it looks like selfishness and stupidity. Anyway, I've been struggling with this idea for a couple weeks, and don't have any answers. I don't really know this person well enough to have a conversation with her explaining what it's like to be on the brink of suicide.