Violent thoughts are scaring me

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by foxwithwings13, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. foxwithwings13

    foxwithwings13 Well-Known Member

    Ok so sometimes I scare myself. I get like periods of depression, usually after people abandon me (Like A few months ago I lost the only friend I had). And I get depressed... and VERY angry. Usually it's at an individual person or group of people (who hurt me and suddenly stopped talking to me and won't tell me, or they make fun of me repededly). And the thing Is they know what they've done to me. they know they've hurt me and it just makes me all the more mad that they can sit there and look at me hurt and take joy in it or not care. So I hurt myself sometimes just to take my anger out on someone. I have suicidal thoughts. And Violent thoughts of hurting people who hurt me or doing things like holding a knife up to their throat so they're the weak one's for once and they for once can feel just a little bit of what I felt. I try talking to them, it doesn't work....
    I've pictured even things like being a school shooter..
    ANd I DON"T have any plans to put those into action of course. But it scares me. I get really angry. Sometimes I'll slap or punch my brother if i'm really mad and he's just in the way. I know I shouldn't...
    I feel like I'm turning into my dad. He uses violence to get us to listen to him. And when I speak words knowone listens to me.
    im just....idk. Am I dangerous? :unsure:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would suggest some anger management classes and writing your anger out with words keep writing them Talk to you therapist about these thoughts
    i get really hurt and angry at people who have hurt me too I have siad things like i want to go and beat the living -----out of them for making me hurt so bad. I know this won't help but i wish i could at least tell them how disgusted i am with them. I think the hate comes from knowing i am not at all like this but their cruelty has made me into them someone angry and revengeful.. Talk to someone about your pain because that is what this anger is about the pain inside Let the pain out in a control way with the help of your therapist anger management Don't let someone elses cruelty and stupidity win don't let them turn you into them Get help okay to take the pain away.
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i dont think ur dangerous - like u said u dont have any plans 2 put it in2 action..
    but still .. like mary said some sort of therapy could really help you..
    try not 2 beat up on ur brother 2 much .. u never know when u might need support from him .. and like u said aswel - u know what its like 2 be on the receiving end of violence..
    all the best :hug: x
  4. foxwithwings13

    foxwithwings13 Well-Known Member

    ok... thanks for the thoughts you guys :)
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I'd say you were dangerous to your brother if you're beating him up.

    How you're feeling about hurting people who hurt you is understandable.
    But it can eat you up inside. But there are so many ways to get that anger out. And you can let thoughts come through your head and go. Or beat something else up that isn't a person- who you aren't harming, there are so many ways to use the anger you have in a constructive way that will ultimately help you. You could use your voice and talk.

    If you're being hurt by your dad, and by bullies you're going to feel angry- but you're asking a good question about your behaviour towards your brother. Yes, I'd say you are dangerous to him and are being physically abusive towards him.

    If no one is listening to you, maybe you could find someone who listens to you, like a therapist? Or the teachers, if bullies are getting to you? You need help and protection and you don't sound like you're being heard- as does your brother.
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