Visit a suicide message board where...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Matty321, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. Matty321

    Matty321 Well-Known Member

    you can hear into families that survive their relatives' suicide, I think they're called survivors of suicide boards.

    There you will find people like me, I bet.

    You should get at least some kinda eye-opener from it. Maybe it can bring this home a little.

    I saw my brother's skull piece left behind from the suicide. I saw a tiny piece of his flesh with tiny blonde hairs sticking straight up from it.

    He shot himself with an AK.

    Now I get to try to hold up my parents. No other sibs.

    ~Matty
     
  2. TwilightKid

    TwilightKid Well-Known Member

    I know what u mean. My mum is the only person on this planet that actually keeps me going. She knows i am suicidal from time to time and she supports me. So at least thanx god i have got her coz without her this world would mean nothing to me...
     
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How do I find these survivors-of-suicides boards? Do you know of any?

    least
     
  4. Matty321

    Matty321 Well-Known Member

    I'll call you kiddo...

    K?

    Thanks for some conversation.

    Think of your Mom a lot. She deserves to keep you, especially without constant worry of what you may do one day. She loves you beyond any words that she can say to save you from yourself. She won't always say the right thing to make it better but she needs you to live.

    My mother feels like she bore my brother for nothing, like she gave birth to air because she outlives it. And after a half a lifetime caring for him.

    I always feel it's a dishonor to leave a parent this way (but my brother was sick). They'll need you so as they grow old. And your death will only suck the life from her, making her the walking dead in the process.

    I do feel like the walking dead for my brother...all dead inside some days. I turn off his dead lamp that sits on my entertainment center now.

    I listen to his dead music.

    I pass by his dead house.

    I live on a planet where my brother is dead.

    Dead planet.

    ~Matty

    P.S.--I will take time to find a site like this for you tomorrow, k? I did stumble on one earlier but I can't remember what it was. I think just typing in "suicide survivors message boards" will do it.

    There should be MAYHEM there. That is my life.
     
  5. TwilightKid

    TwilightKid Well-Known Member

    Thank u Matty for your words, they are so true and i know that myself but hearing it from someone else is a bit different. Of course i would prefer to live my life for myself, i mean i wud prefer enjoying my life but since i cant enjoy it at least i can find a reason to stay. Not exactly what i want of course. But maybe it will change someday...

    My co-worker lost her son to. He had a depression for years and then his girlfriend left him so it added up to his depression. It was 2 years ago. She cries everytime she mentions him. She is very strong, stronger than anyone could imagine but it has been very very hard for her. She goes to the cemetery everyday and i think she feels like she is to blame for his death even though he was 30 years old.
     
  6. Matty321

    Matty321 Well-Known Member

    gees, Twilight.

    Thanks for the response, I'm sorry I have no more time but I'm sorry for your friend and I hope you do find a reason to stay.

    I need a friend.

    ~Matty*will write you more in a day or so.*
     
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