Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Lead Savior, Jan 1, 2008.

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  1. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I'm just going to collect the other things I've written and condense them into one thread that I will bump with new writings (so as not to clutter up the poet's corner and push other people's threads downward).

    To the purist, what I write can be considered poetry since it is expression of emotions and what my senses gather, but to others it may not. To the latter I must admit that I have no idea what a stanza or a sonnet is, and that I cannot rhyme. If I try to rhyme, I find that the need to do so is what ends up guiding what I write and what I am trying to convey often becomes lost.

    I am only trying to paint a picture with words, thus, I'll only call these "visualizations."
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member


    Through summer and autumn the trees have sensed impending doom
    The changing colors of their leaves reflect this, but still they are reluctant to believe

    The bright, life-giving jewel of the sky turns away from them
    They awake to the grey dawn of winter

    Not sunshine but deathly frost now descends upon them
    Their leaves are relinquished to the earth, revealing their bare frames

    They now more closely resemble skeletal hands reaching out from the grave, grasping at their betrayer
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member


    Time passes through us like a thread
    We are the looms which weave into that thread texture and patterns

    They are memories, faces

    But now, the thread moves through me unnoticed
    It emerges out the other side featureless
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Sandcastles of Days

    Each day is mine
    I often take them and build them, only in thought, into what is possible

    Sandcastle-days built upon a beach in the palm of my hand
    "There will be joy here, adventure there, and love over here!" I instruct the sculptor

    It is not the wind, the relentless waves, nor even the wayward hand of a careless stranger that destroys what could be

    It is my own weakness, indifference, fear, and inability that reduces it to sand
    It falls through my fingers again and again
  5. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Frost Scar

    Happiness and despair are in delicate balance
    Merely being within my home acts unfavorably on this emotional scale

    I thus cast myself out into the elements,
    into a freezing wind that carries frost from distant mountaintops and deposits it onto my bones
    That kind of cold is almost purifying

    I sit until my muscles shudder, struggling against it until they are exhausted,
    until I am grateful again to return inside
  6. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Lead Savior

    (This one is more of a riddle, and was indeed inspired by my name)

    Prompted by sadness I leap to the rescue at your behest,
    propelled by fiery gusto

    Though it seems I may be hard, authoritative,
    you find that I am soft, malleable as I enter

    As I pass through, I expand and embrace all that corrodes you:
    ailments, fears, responsibilities that weigh upon your shoulder and memories that weigh upon your mind

    When I depart you, the cleansing of all of those ills reveals a deep void
    Because I am the be-all solution, you are left with an end-all result
    You have paid the ultimate price

    What am I?
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member


    Paths through life are wondrous and many,
    each is traveled only once and grants its wanderer a unique perspective

    Some are given great obstacles, seemingly insurmountable peaks
    These souls endure trial and hardship, atonement is their prize

    Others walk along tranquil waters which provide reflections of fond memory
    Truly blessed, they live within peace and security

    There are also the lost, their way lies through dark forests where direction is
    forfeit and hopelessness guides their step
    Emergence from the wood is a genuine rebirth of understanding

    It is when the the light wanes on each man's journey
    that all of our courses meet, and we rejoice in the meadow of the end
  8. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member


    Rains come and go for all the world
    Each man finds himself under its gloom at least once in a lifetime

    Should those close to me stop and glance, even for a moment,
    they would discover that dark clouds swirl behind my eyes
    They would discover that rain also falls within

    This is a rain from which I know no reprieve,
    for which there is no hearth to warm my hands
  9. I've read some of the others already - very much like the new ones you've added! I love their flow... They are thoughtful, melancholy, bittersweet - also compassionate in that you observe not only your own trials, but translate your words and thoughts into understanding of what others go through. (have to admit though, I'm still clueless about your riddle - any further hints?)

    As for calling them "visualizations", I like that name very much. But there's only one person here that I've encountered who was a harsh judge of how poetry was defined - really a pedant and nothing more... so no worries. I happen to think "poetry in motion" describes your words - for that is how they flow. And I really like the imagery you use...

    (You might think of joining The Poetry Forum as well, as yet another venue for your lovely works. It's in the section "LINKS", further down on the SF main page)
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2008
  10. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Prison Without Walls

    Monotony, all days are alike and I let each slip
    Ample time my mind has spent wandering in search of nourishment for withering hope,
    each time it has returned to me with empty hands

    Wasted endeavors those were, their time has passed

    The cold half of me takes the next step into desolation,
    its task now is to seek out the bars that prevent my escape

    What a short undertaking it was to find them, just a fleeting look
    There they were, glaring back at me from the eyes of those I love most
    For so long I have embraced my own entrapment
  11. "Prison Without Walls"...

    Well, you've officially got a fan LS. I love this one as much as the others. Such a moving and adept way of expressing sadness, as well your resignation to it's reality - how you have tried - how "empty hands" lead to that bitter sense of resignation and "desolation". (I can very much relate)
    Your words are so powerful! I'm still trying to fully gleen the meaning of your last lines (their magnitude) -- those you love being a hindrence to your willed escape... embracing and acknowledging your love for them is the sole thing that keeps you "here" - that is bittersweet (and I very much like how you said "Those I love" instead of "Those that love me" - for the latter often instills guilt...another useless misery)

    lol - this is WAY longer than your poem! (I'm probably redundant too) S'cuse me for blathering...
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2008
  12. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Leatherbound Hero

    Something amusing to counterbalance the other feelings

    The great sail upon my ship of thought succumbs only to the winds of emotion
    Often, thus, she runs aground upon the shores of lingual redundancy

    It is here that a great bellow rings out from the crow's nest,
    the caller sinks his cutlass into the sail and glides down ever so gracefully
    His details clarify as he descends: a thick, strong spine, leafy appendages

    "To whom do I owe the gratitude of righting my course?" I ask the stranger

    "Thesaurus" is his reply
  13. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Collection of Failures

    To feel as such, for so long, begs the question
    "When did this begin? Why?"

    It is natural to search through the murky bog of time,
    trudging purposefully backward

    Nothing rises from its waters, no explanation,
    only the ashes of things forgotten, pushed out

    A sickening realization makes itself known:
    I was never happy
    Memories in which I seemed to be must lay behind childish ignorance
    My heart still beats, but I have been dead for years
  14. It IS amusing - so very different (I'm glad you have that in you as well as the hell). I love the very discriptive imagery, it sounds so simply expressed, but it's so well exercised in its consistency... The title is pretty kewl too.

    (and I LOVE my thesaurus!)
  15. You've done it again, captured that haunting feeling with but a few yet masterful words... I'm otherwise speechless ('getting sick of me yet?)
  16. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Armor of Indifference

    Listlessness is what characterizes this man,
    a suit that time itself has donned for him

    Gauntlets protect his hands, his deeds are not be seen by the world
    He does not feel the pride of his own achievements

    A great helm encases his head, it puts miles between him and friends, family
    He loves them dearly, but the expression that cannot pierce through

    His breast is guarded by a bulwark, his heart knows no joy
    The embraces of others are never truly felt
  17. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Fathers and Lessons Learned

    Some know fathers with two faces
    Mine has fallen into the liquid embrace forever,
    so I hear only one face speak

    Each word a cruel barb tearing flesh,
    a stone giving way beneath my feet
    I reel back until there is nowhere left to regress

    He will not see the damage done, no
    there is no hindsight for the blind

    Every minute of drunken rage begets an hour of tears,
    quite unfair really
    The real lesson here is to escape this life,
    the sooner learned, the better for all
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2008
  18. God, I love that line, man - it is the quintessential declaration - an astute and profound observation - all on its own (aside from the rest of your powerful poem), for why there is and has always been so very much suffering inflicted upon so many lives... :sad:
  19. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member


    Hopelessly entangled,
    not in sadness or madness, but within the grip of a siren
    So alluring that all concerns fade into obscurity,
    so radiant that all around her fades into darkness
    A masterpiece that demands a kiss upon the hand of the creator

    The beguiling form dissolves and I take in each curve
    Like snakes they coil around my senses, I can perceive only her
    They tighten around my lungs and my breath draws short,
    this must be what 'breathtaking' means

    If only I could say hello
  20. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    My goodness!

    You have a real knack for expression.

    Never stop writing :poke:
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