Voices screaming at me :(

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Butterfly, Jun 12, 2013.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    In'm not really one for hearing voices, I tend to just hear mumbling and giggling with the odd word here and there and its not all the time, usually when I am cycling into manic or paranoid stage. I guess I am kind of paranoid, seeing pictures move and speak to me. I can kinda handle that but today several voices have just been screaming. Loud and very frightening. It got worse on the bus home. The louder I turned up my music to block it out, the louder they screamed. I wanted to cry and run as far away as I could, but I couldnt. I dont know what to do, im frightened.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Is it still happening? :hug: Do you have a therapist or doctor you can call to find out what they recommend?
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I baked some brownies and they quietened down. I've just got a bit of mumbling going on. I'm trying to get in to see my GP but they keep telling me to ring back. I think the earliest I will be able to see her is Monday. It's ever since I restarted my anti depressant on it's own without the seroquel. I've slowly been getting unwell again. No depression or sadness, just delusions, obsessions and now paranoia and psychosis. I had stopped taking my meds previously cause the seroquel was making it difficult for me to concentrate at work and I didn't want to take the Cymbalta on its own, but my psych decided to try it on its own anyway. I'm frightened because I've never heard anything like that before. When I've been unwell in the past I've had voices telling me to and kill myself and whatnot, which was upsetting, but very rare. But the screaming, it sounded demonic. I wanted to run so far away, but I was trapped on the bus. I almost started crying, I wanted to scream to stop the bus so I could run out. I'm scared because if this gets any worse I'm gonna end up becoming impulsive and attempting. Last time I was like this I was unbearable to many and I wouldn't help myself. I'm trying to prevent that happening again, but it's hard when I can't even get in to see my own GP and I am nervous about going to A&E especially as a) I'm at work until Monday and 2) they know me from when I was a student nurse. I'd feel so uncomfortable being a patient in the hospital I worked at, even if it was just for an emergency referral or meds.
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    There used to be informal agreements in the NHS so that for mental health issues staff could get treatment at a different hospital. It was entirely informal, nothing in writing but honoured by all. I've even known note be kept in special locked drawers to guarantee confidentiality. I know an awful lot has changed from those days but is there some way you could call in a favour or ask for one? The old agreement was about staff helping out staff in good ways for good reasons.
     
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. Sorry this is happening. I hope you can call your "psych" and figure out what to do. What combo of meds to start on, or go back on, right now. Sending a :hug:
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to get back on the seroquel hun that is what keep the voices away or on a different psychotic medication If you have to go to emerg dept and see the oncall pdoc there
     
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Lex, I totally understand what you are saying...hospitals (and I have worked in them for years) are chatter breeding grounds and the law and reality are quite different...that being said, how can you do what is best for you? If you are a good nurse, much of the other stuff is also chatter...and you were there as a student nurse and not working now...I am going to explain this through an example: a friend of mine was doing her psych nursing rotation and on the first day, her second patient was her former pdoc...we all need help...yes, you have to contact your doc and get a med change but you also have to assure better monitoring of your meds...can you work out with her a treatment plan so that this does not happen again, more specifically, that you have more efficient follow up when a new med regime is initiated? the follow up appears to be the greatest problem here...as TE said, if you need it immediately, go to the A&E...there they can also adjust your meds...and please do not wait...also, do they have to do any labs re your meds? If so, have they been done?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2013
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    The follow up is horrific. My pdoc said last time she would try and see me again in 6 weeks. That must have been 3 or 4 weeks ago now and I have yet to receive an appt letter so I can see once again that she has failed to give adequate follow up, surprise surprise. Id rather see my GP as I am most comfortable seeing her and I know she will advocate appropriately or refer me to crisis again. I would much prefer that than sitting in a and e for hours thinking everyone is talking about me and working myself up but it looks like I will have to wait till Monday. I am cool with that as long as I can find enough distractions.

    I don't need any labwork doing, my last lot were pretty good and I didnt have them done that long ago. As for meds I know I need another anti psych or a mood stabiliser but no, psych thinks she knows best. Not. :(
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: Voices can be so scary and terrifying, I do hope and wish for you that they have gone now. You already know how I feel about your psychiatrist and how they're treating you...so i can't say much lol! But please keep talking to us, we care about you hun xxx
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I took a big step today. Today was the first time ever that I dreaded going to work. The voices were just mumbling, I was feeling paranoid and anxious. I told my fiance about the voices and anxiety and paranoia and that I needed help. He said hed make sure I was safe until I can get to the GP, even if I have to be locked in the house again. Time for rest now as tomorrow is another day I need to survive.
     
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Lex...that was wonderful that you externalized to someone IRL what is going on for you...and fortunately, you have a loving partner who is there for you...I know your health care system is quite different than ours (if f/u is not done timely it can be sited by the State Departments of Health as an med error), but can you talk to your pdoc and set up something more aggressive as far as follow up? With much caring
     
  12. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Iv been sobbing uncontrollably since I came home from work. Had an awful shift. Had no break and left 45 mins late. Then I come home and fiance is pissed at me cos I was downstairs trying to get some me time and I didnt spend it with him. He apologised when he knew I was sobbing and now I feel rubbish and hope I dont wake up in the morning.
     
  13. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i hope today is better.
     
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