Void of emotions

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alivefornow, Jun 9, 2012.

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  1. Alivefornow

    Alivefornow Member

    All my life I have struggled with emotions....emotions that I don't feel. How do we go through life with no emotions? I can remember a time when anger was my primary emotion. Then the time when my daughters were born and I did feel an ovewhelming love for them. As time progressed and I was diagnosed with a debilitating illness, so many medications to try and treat it.....I was a guinea pig for they did not know how to fight this thing called "fibromyalgia." The meds they tried messed with my head. Everything seemed screwed up. I'm now older, 52 years old, and the illness's just keep coming. My medications are why I work, to pay for medications that help the physical pain but leave me void inside. Either way I go, there is no balance. Yes, I google suicide and the easiest ways to do it. Then I think of my children and now I even think they would be ok without me. I go weeks without a telephone call, for I have no friends. I have no friends b/c I don't care to have any. I have no friends b/c I am so quiet and no one KNOWS ME. Even my pets no longer bring me joy....there is no joy in my life. There is no way to get ahead in life. I no longer want to be on this earth. I don't know what to do.....later......maybe
     
  2. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    hugs to you honey.

    real happiness presents itself only when you come to terms with yourself. you are not void inside, believe it or not.
    may i call it numbness?
    you still have so much to give -- to both yourself and everybody who loves you.
    i'm not trying to convert you or something but only want to suggest this thing called 'mindfulness'.
    google it. read this book 'the Power of Now', or even join a meditation course.
    learn how emotions are formed and learn to know your true self and about the ego.
    give it a chance honey. at least you can say to have tried. do not give up.

    wishing you all the best xxx
     
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