volcano about to erupt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Dec 21, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    my life is a volcano about to erupt.

    the first foundation was when my mom passed away

    then things keep getting worser and worser for me. it has built up so much for me that i am at a boiling point. my life is a volcano about to erupt.

    i posted on another forum a christmas wish.. my words apperantly were worded wrong and eveyone started blaming me for being mean and rude.. so then i go on and cuss because i got mad and upset and very tired of others accusing me of being an mean uncaring person.. well then they happen to ban me, then a little while later i get an invitation to rejoin saying they were too quick to ban me and wish for me to return and start fresh well i started fresh already but not one person can ever forget my past.. they want to throw it up in my face every dang time.. that has put a stone upon my heart and has helped cause my heart to boil with this much pain.

    the daltons, they added a lot of hurt to me.. they put a lot of this pain upon my heart. i just never have understood how they can be so cold and so mean.. i only needed peace between them and they just dont understand that.. so i am giving them what they want..

    the guy who burnt my home down.. hes has getting away with doing it.. i went over there the other day and the part that was still standing had fall down.. i thought the wind may have pushed it down so i go around to the other side and see this 4 wheeler track, apperantly he has pulled up next to the end, tied a rope or chain around it and pulled the rest of it down.. my guess is when i go back over there, that part will be burnt because he probably will finish burning it down and he will get away with it again.

    i have had it with everything.. people get away with stuff, now where is the justice in this world? where is it??

    so my gift to everyone this time of year.. it is my gift to the daltons, to those other online boards and to everyone else who wants me out of their lifes, well this is my gift to you.

    and to everyone else here i hope you all find a love , hope, and peace.. God knows i have tried and cant do it anymore..
     
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Please stay safe Dovie! Have a nice xmas and relax. :hug:
     
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member


    cant have a nice christmas...

    how could i have? got nothing left to live for.. nothing left to live for...

    my gift to others is me gone..

    that is my gift to everyone.. it is what they want..

    going to go camping.. have things i need and there is no more minutes on my cell phone plus i will be way out in the deep woods, so in case i happen to change my mind afterwards i wont be able to contact anyone and will have to go through with it.. plus i will be getting drunk so maybe that will help a little.. do hope it snows new years day.. and turns really really cold, then they will think i froze to death
     
  4. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    by the good lord Susan! What is this now? You will let others decide of your life now?
    You are willing to give them what they want which is get you out of their lives because something about you bothers them?

    Well, I'll tell you what I'd do if i was in your shoes........ i'd make damn sure they see my face all the time, a nice damn reminder that you exist and will exist no matter what and how they feel........ and i'd do all in my power to rebuild that darn place one way or another just to piss them off even more and would make darn sure I make enough noise to piss them off even more once living in it. That's what I'd do............... return an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth but in a legal and healthy way.

    PISSING THE OFF by EXISTING and BEING THERE

    Don't give up! LIft your sleeves and get to work, you have an objective and aim......
    rebuilding it all and ensuring that the sight of you will forever be a rminder of what they did so nightmares for them!

    Now, plan your xmas elsewhere where its warm and cosy. You have much work to do after the holiday now right?

    Be well and STAY SAFE for goodness sake

    I want you well Susan. Warm :hug: to YOU

    with affection, granny xx
     
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    cant stay.. cant fight.. got no more strength left in me.. i am so sorry but i just cant.. you just dont know how weak i am..

    sorry... but i am not that strong anymore and i give up.. they win.. they all win...

    take care granny.. :hug:
     
  6. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Suzan please! You feel empty and I can't blame you for it. Anyone going through what you did and do would feel this way, BUT you must not let them win, this would be the cherry on the cake and you can't allow it by all gods!

    You really want to make them this gift? To let them win as they were or have planned? You really want to give them this satisfaction?

    Kick asses by all gods! Bite till it bleads (figure of speech) but FIGHT BACK do not let them put you KO!

    It would be like you give them the trone, the stick and the diadem to make them kings and queens???????????????????

    NO WAY! My SUSAN is a fighter, SHE IS a lion king that fights for justice and for the rightfullness of things and SHE WILL FIGHT to her last breath for what she believes into OK!

    I will not allow MY SUSAN to let them win all the way and take her head on top of it and put it on a stick to show everyone in the area that they won for goodness sake!

    I KNOW MYYYYYYYY SUSANNNNNN and SHE WILL react and fight even though she doesn't know where to find strenght anymore, she will find it anywhere and wherever, in her anger, her despair in her whatever BUT SHE WILL FIND STRENGHT TO FIGHT AND WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

    MY SUSAN IS A FIGHTER, A ROCKY BALBOA, A ROCK A MOUNTAIN!
     
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    *hug susan you know how to get hold of me pm me hun and we can talk you are not alone *hug
     
  8. Rand

    Rand Active Member

    Susan

    OK granny right, thats the first thing.

    I can relate completely to the no energy, cant fight, too weak thing. I really camt muster up any hope at all.

    But for the time you chose to have here on this earth, make it count. These daltons? Who are they? Sounds like they're not worth your thoughts, never mind your life.

    You're already better than them. Ppl like that are just nothing. I used to know ppl like that but seriously, to see them now? Its good! Really good! Cos just as i said, they're nothing! And while i think nothing of myself, they're still not worth me. They're just too thick to realise it.

    Now tell me, does that sound good?

    My point is, your choices should only be affected by you. Not anyone else.

    Granny is right in the fact that you shouldn't let them know they've beaten you. No matter what you think (its hard, for the love of the earth i know its hard) I think you're best getting away from all that, have a different life, come back something much better. Something so much better that they will hate it.

    And if you can summon up the energy granny has here, then all the bloody better!!!!!

    Good luck.
     
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