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Wading in darkness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GuillotinedSin, Nov 14, 2014.

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  1. GuillotinedSin

    GuillotinedSin New Member

    "Your mind is your greatest asset". I've been told that essentially and literally my entire life. I'm supposed to be brilliant. But my life is cursed by the eternal and inevitable idea that nothing I could ever do would ever matter. It'll all go away and be forgotten, including by me. I'll die and be gone.

    I've tried being a good Christian. But I can never convince myself that any of it is true.

    Why shouldn't I drink myself to death? At least I can die drunk and by my own volition.

    I need help. I don't want to not exist. I'm terrified out of my mind.
  2. GuillotinedSin

    GuillotinedSin New Member

  3. Jasp

    Jasp Active Member

    What is your problem? Maybe if you talk about this a bit more we could help you. Is it that you're talented indeed but that your "only" concern is that of the inevitable fatalness of life? In that case, you're not the only one and there's been written a lot about this, philosophical, spiritual, or religious. You might read about this and enlighten yourself a bit? Or have you talked about this with others yet? Maybe a doctor or pschycologist? Or maybe friends or peers?

    Or do you lack purpose in your life? And of course, everything you do matters, even the thoughts you think have an impact on the world around you. Read some books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, or you might like the "Conversations with God" series by Neale Donald Walsch.

    And in my point of view, it's no use trying to be a good Christian. There are the questions of "who am I", "why am I here", "what is this all about", and the journey these questions bring you on can be very revealing and rewarding, even though the journey can be hard.

    As to your statement that you need help, what kind of help do you need?
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