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Waiting for a Sign?

#1
Idk if I should put a TW on this or not, but I guess just be careful?


Has anyone else ever just been waiting for a sign? Like, just one more thing to confirm that it’s time to go. That’s where I’m at rn. I’m almost sure that everything will be better without me, but I just need that extra little bit of confirmation.
 
#3
Hi hermit. What makes you so sure everything would be better without you? What would count as extra confirmation?
My parents insult me a lot. I believe them, deep down. Parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, and I know mine want to, so if they can’t do that with me then their words must be true. My brother is their better child and no matter how many times they say that’s not true their actions have never lined up with their words. They’d be happier without me. I have my best friends and my boyfriend, but, and I don’t know if this is selfish of me, I just know they could all find someone way better than me and I want the best for them. Im an annoyance who’s constantly screwing up, and I’m tired of burdening everyone with that. Idk what would count as extra confirmation, ig I’m just thinking that I’ll know it when I see it.
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#5
Your parents are mentally abusing you. Obviously they don't know how to be good parents. I was also abused by my father. In later years he changed, I forgave him, and we had a good relationship. I have been suicidal off and on since I was 16, I am 53 now. I hate to say this but there is never going to be a sign that says you are better off dead. If you are looking for one you will eventually find one you interpret is "the sign." Your parents would be devastated. THey would blame themselves for it the rest of their life. Your friends also would be sorry, they would never forget it. Your parents love you, they just don't know how to show it. You are a unique and wonderful person. I know your pain, I really do. I suggest if you find "a sign" that you turn yourself in to a hospital where you can be protected and have someone to talk to about your problems.
 

MarvelFan

Vanity of Vanities
#6
Your parents are mentally abusing you. Obviously they don't know how to be good parents. I was also abused by my father. In later years he changed, I forgave him, and we had a good relationship. I have been suicidal off and on since I was 16, I am 53 now. I hate to say this but there is never going to be a sign that says you are better off dead. If you are looking for one you will eventually find one you interpret is "the sign." Your parents would be devastated. THey would blame themselves for it the rest of their life. Your friends also would be sorry, they would never forget it. Your parents love you, they just don't know how to show it. You are a unique and wonderful person. I know your pain, I really do. I suggest if you find "a sign" that you turn yourself in to a hospital where you can be protected and have someone to talk to about your problems.
I could not say that any better
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, full of kittens & colours •✮•
#8
My parents insult me a lot. I believe them, deep down. Parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, and I know mine want to, so if they can’t do that with me then their words must be true. My brother is their better child and no matter how many times they say that’s not true their actions have never lined up with their words. They’d be happier without me. I have my best friends and my boyfriend, but, and I don’t know if this is selfish of me, I just know they could all find someone way better than me and I want the best for them. Im an annoyance who’s constantly screwing up, and I’m tired of burdening everyone with that. Idk what would count as extra confirmation, ig I’m just thinking that I’ll know it when I see it.
I understand what you’re saying, you’re not alone. If you want some coping techniques for this, do pm me, we can chat about it. (if I don’t forget lol) just spam me in inbox *hug You are more than what your parents thinks, we live in a different generation than them, we have to go beyond them.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
I hope you stay around @hermit21 . There's nothing wrong with you that some understanding and support can't help. I'm sorry your parents aren't giving you the understanding and acceptance you need, and that it hurts so much. Parents -they really mess us up sometimes, don't they ?

Welcome, we're glad to have you here *hug
 

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