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Waiting for my life to end...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BornFree, Nov 22, 2011.

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  1. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Selfishly I am back! I am so sorry if I caused concern. My world bottomed out for a while and then I managed to crawl out of my pit and even managed to improve I guess, then I blew it, but now its all out of my hands!
    Stupidly I tried to help a friend and its all backfired and now the consequences could be really serious and really scary. I can't believe this is happening to me!!

    Its a nightmare BUT ITS REAL!!!

    I stand to lose everything I value and cherish my children and my life!!!
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ditsy, what exactly happened to make you feel like ending your life is the best option? :hug:
  3. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    A dear friend of mine's son went balistic/psychotic (both our children are Autistic and her son is a year younger) and when she asked me... I let her have half of my son's tablet/medication... Risperdal. She then told the doctor, to ask him to prescribe it and well now Dr has told her he is calling in Social Services.
    She is terrified as am I, I never meant to cause harm. Oh God, if I could take it back I would. In hindsight I can see the seriousness of it all! She is such a dear friend and now I don't know if she or I will be prosecuted, lose our children , go to jail.
    Its such a God awful mess!!!
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    oh dear,that is a tough situation, i know you know it was the wrong thing to do but its unlikely that any of you will face jail :hug:
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    It is good to see you, i'm sorry you are so worried about this. Does your friend's son normally take medication and she just didn't have it with her? I wonder if you both compose and sign a statement about what happened - stating it was a spur of the moment - helping someone out who asked etc. etc. situation. Then you both keep a copy - and just have it. I don't honestly think they would take your children. I am sorry this is the result of you just trying to help your friend.

    :hug: Take care, please stay safe.
  6. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    No, her son doesn't take medication normally, she knew my son does, she had tried restraining him for a while and he was still flipping out, trying to get hold of my daughter and it was a Sunday so yeah. Spur of the moment - desperation!
    If I was thinking clearly I would have told her to call an ambulance but I was scared myself and I was so torn trying to be a good friend...
    Oh my a moments stupid decision can now ruin our lives completely!! I can't believe I am such an idiot! Why didn't I think?
    I can't believe this nightmare is real! I hate myself even more now, for what my friend is going through, for what my family is going through, for sliding straight back into the hell that led to my last attempt. I don't deserve to live, my children and my husband deserve better! Loads better!!
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Ditsy -

    Try to take some breaths for yourself please. You haven't ruined anyones life, you are not idiotic, you definitely deserve to live and your family is lucky to have you.

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