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Waiting for the end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by james79, Jul 12, 2008.

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  1. james79

    james79 Member

    For the past 6 months I have been considering killing myself for various reasons that are out of my control and only getting worse with each miserable day.. I find myself waiting until something really bad happens in my life in order to give me that final push I need to justify the act... A few weeks ago I started to walk myself through the entire process in my head, from renting the room in the most expensive hotel in town and placing a warning sign outside the door to ensure a maid doesn't get emotionally damaged by what she would find inside.. I have already found a way to obtain the required poison that I need to get the job done, as I am a photographer and have a few connections in the supply industry... The wheels are already in motion, I just wait now for the catalyst which will finally give me freedom from this cruel and fragile life...

    Not sure why I am posting this, but I feel like I need to tell someone....
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I wish i could join u... my life is so much full of shit that i just cant hold on
    i have a plan though, but i still have time with it.. yet i feel like i cant wait
    amm.. it may sound wierd but... what is this poison u talking about?
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Oh you two! big :hug: for you both.
    Really, suicide isn't the way.
    I mean, you might not think you'll fail, but if you do, it screws you up big time.
    I've had nine failed attempts now, and i'm finallly starting to realise that its not solved my problems at all.
    Its that old saying; "suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem.'
    Whatever is going on in your life right now, you can get through, please don't resort to suicide :(
    Am here for both of you.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Have you checked into possible side effects to the poison? You could fail at suicide and then you will have to deal with a new problem. How it effects your internal organs like your liver, or your kidneys, etc.etc.etc. There was aguy in the hospital when I was there last time who tried suicide and ended up on a dialysys machine. I can't tell you here what he did. I just want you to think about the possibilities of things that can happen should you fail.
    I wish you both would reconsider, the world has nothing to do with mental health. It basically boils down to you and your frame of mind. It is you who controls what might happen. Good Luck to you both...:chopper:...
  5. x

    x Active Member

    Hi James I’m sorry to hear about your state of mind and I would like to help. Unfortunately without knowing a little about the causes of your suicidal thoughts its very difficult to give you any practical advice about how to change the situation without having to resort to suicide.

    You have taken a good first step by letting the membership of this community know about your state of mind. I feel a good next port of call for you would be to speak to someone at a depression or mental health help line or arrange an appointment with you Doctor.

    However without having more information about the root causes of your problems its very hard to advise you at this stage.

    Kind regards, Ryan
  6. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Rofl dude im sorry but i read some of your replays and its like... Duh!
    You actualy reminding me my psychitriest who didnt gave a shit about me
    he just saw me as some sort of "problem" that he have to analize and fix...

    "However without having more information about the root causes of your problems its very hard to advise you at this stage. "

    Rofl... you really should stop beeing such formal about things :)
    its emotionless...!!
  7. james79

    james79 Member

    Hey Stranger1, yes I have fully researched the method I am interested in, and I can assure you that as long as I consume enough of it, cardiac arrest is almost immediate. As you stated, it is not wise to go into details as I respect the admins of this board and do not wish to make their lives any harder, so I will keep the details to myself.. Thank you though for your concern.

    Hey ryan_brookes, Thank you, and yes I have been thinking about getting professional help to see if I can stop these suicidal thoughts. I believe I am at the right stage where it might helpful to me, and I think I owe my family at least that before I make any attempts to end my life..
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