Waiting On The Crows

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by paradigmofdeath, Dec 21, 2009.

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  1. paradigmofdeath

    paradigmofdeath New Member

    Just something I wrote. I don't know if it's any good but let me know what you think.

    Waiting On The Crows

    See the gravedigger;
    He patrols with idle hands,
    Waiting for the devil’s footsteps
    And the breaking of the earth.

    Dwelling on the dying years,
    He files away their sleeping bones
    Where the dead lay interred
    In jars of clay and cairns of stone.

    With his old steel spade,
    Rusted by time and dented with work,
    He waits for the last page of a year
    To fall from the calendar.

    Then with chisel and hammer
    He carves slabs of marble for the dead,
    And when the ground closes it’s mouth,
    He files their names into his head.

    But knowing only how to die;
    He speaks only with the dying,
    Crippled in their ruined beds,
    Withered from all of their crying.

    The years bleed him of pain;
    The days bleed him of hope.

    In deaths solemn company
    There comes a cold before the freeze;
    Like a ship under the swell
    He sinks into the bitter sleep of apathy.

    This is a place for free men, he says,
    Where ghosts speak in voices low;
    Where every tomorrow is slave to a yesterday
    And all is spent waiting on the crows.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Lots of feeling in this poem! Passing of time, aloneness, sadness, apathy.

    The lines “He waits for the last page of a year / To fall from the calendar” say so much in so few words. “He waits” implies the passage of time with nothing to do, “the last page of a year” suggests an ending, and he does not remove the last page himself, he just lets it fall - and that emphasizes the apathy.

    Well done!
  3. silent_beast

    silent_beast Active Member

    I like it! It is very descriptive, a sign of someone who's very observant.
  4. johnson8681

    johnson8681 Well-Known Member

    Very original great writing I liked it.
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