i just came across this forum today..recently i admitted to my mom that i was feeling depressed and suicidal and am now taking celexa, but its not having any effect on me just yet, and i know it takes time. but waiting while you feel like dying is hard. my days have been taken over by the obsessing thoughts about committing suicide and preparing to commit suicide..i dont want to leave my family in disarray so i want to plan everything out. i don't want to live my life battling with depression and anxiety for the rest of my life..ive been battling this for almost 5 years completely and utterly alone. so, i know nothings gonna change or get better..its getting harder to go to classes and work..i dont sleep at all at night. im just so tired, lonely, afraid, and don't know how much longer i can simply hold on til i realize its enough.