I decided that I will kill myself, but I don't know when. It seems sad that somebody wants to take his life, but if the quality of life he had before is no longer available to him what is he supposed to do. People don't understand this. I see all these child stars killing themselfs, or OD ing from pills, and it's like looking in the mirror. They could never find themselfs, why would I. How do I forget all the hurt I have caused myself. The right to die for over 70 in Holland? How about the right to die for evreybody. People say all I need is a girlfriend, but they don't understand how I feel inside. I realy wish I was dead, and I don't think a girl could make me feel better. If feel weak for saying these things, but this is how I feel. I'm 32, spent my 20's without major relationships, and now I don't know how to cope with life's problems. The things I would have learned then would realy come in handy now. My biggest mistake is that I wasted 10 years doing nothing because I felt sorry formyself. It realy makes me see what a spineless gutless human I'm. Somebody like me wouldn't realy be missed there are a million like me. All of you worthless bags of shit looking to step over the other one.