wake me up when september ends

everything in life is going so wrong. and its really getting me down. i cant remember the last time i was happy with something i did or with something that happened. instead everything makes me more and more determined to kill myself. or starve myself. preferably kill.

I hate my GCSE results. nd i didnt do that badly. i got 29 points. i just could have done so much better. i mean my predicted grade were A*'s and A's. thats what i should have got and i didnt. i feel like a failure because i know i didnt do nearly as good as i could have done.

I hate all my friends in school. im with "the losers". i deserve to be with the losers but i wish i wasnt. outside of school im friends with all the populars of a different school. dont get me wrong i hate the populars in my school, but i wish they would like me. i dont want to friends with them i just wish they would talk to me.

Im in love with this guy who doesnt love me back. it hurts so bad to see him everyday with his girlfriend. who is a bitch by the way. shes really horrible about me. bd ive never done anything to her. really i should hate her as she has "the guy" but i dont nd she hates me. she doesnt even know me.

lately iv been getting really worried about everything. i get worried im gonna fail my AS and A levels. i get worried no-one will ask me to the formal (i know this one is true but i still cling to that hope that even a fellow loser might ask me. i seriously doubt it though.) i get really worried that a friend of mine will ask another friend of mine to the formal (jealousy). i get worried iv lost my pencilcase alot aswell. all my worries are silly petty things but when im worrying its like the end of the world.

i know this all sounds superficial. it probably is. but everything is getting me down at the minute. absolubtly everything. every night i sit in bed going over everything that is wrong with me and my life over and over again.

i dont know what the point in me posting this thread was. whatever i thought it might fix, it didnt

 

hmmm well first off you posted here because you are seeking answers or advice. So of course the initial post night not do anything for you.

I have saide this once and I will say it again and again... this time in HUGE text YOU HAVE FRIENDS!!!! DON'T FORGET THAT AT LEAST YOU HAVE THEM!!! I have never had any friends... anyone who might have been my friend just played me so they could later humiliate me. So I have never had friends. You however have them you should remember that and not take it for granted because if you do one day you might be alone and full of even more regret and/or might be dead because you offed yourself. As for this formal thing well let me say this. High school is 4 years of your life 4 YEARS!!! The average female like is something like 75 or 80 years? You have plenty of time to make memories and stuff like that. I myself never went to anything that could be considered a formal mainly because I:

• I was very unpopular at the time
• Even if I asked a female I would have had a 99% chance of being turned down
• They seemed like a big waste of time.

Personally I do not see why you have to go with someone? If going to this event means THAT much to you go alone... I mean SERIOUSLY!!! Stop playing into the society norms of having someone take you to a formal event. Those events are about making memories... or so I think... so go and make memories. Because it has always been my beliefe that if you cannot enjoy something by yourself you cannot enjoy it period.

Now onto the school thing... hmmm... well all I can say is take some of the extra energy you put into the drama of relationships and apply it to your school work. That will keep you from falling below your goals.

As for this guy situation...well don't get too fixated on your desire to breed. Because right now it sounds to me like you see this guy from a far and do not really know him. Now I could be wrong, but what I have seen over the years is that most people in high school, about 85%, don't learn to distinguish between their lust and what love is. So, provided I am right, be sure to get to know him then decide... of fixate on another person I am sure he is not the only guy at your school.

 

sorry

and i dont see this guy from afar. i do know him.
i live in northern ireland. high (secondary) school is 7 years.

 

Still 7 years? I guess one quote comes to mind "How does it feel to be the girl who peaked in high school"

Like I said I did not your entire situation. I had to assume a few varibles in order to give out any advice.

 

I did not go to my formal in h.s. either. A good friend had a date. Some people went stag (without dates, but they went as a group). Instead I was out in the woods camping with my aunt and uncle. We had a good time. But, I did end up crying in my sleeping bag that night. I could not believe I was not with my friends. I kept telling myself that it is just one time. I did have TONS more of good memories from my last year and great times.
You may not be able to change or plan out all of your life. You CAN be in charge of your grades, dreams, attitude and hold on to whatever memories you do have. YOU are smart. Keep dreaming.

 

hey i just wanted to say,and this is well out of my place here,i love northern ireland,i served there twice with the british army and i love it and all the people in it.

also if u wanna chat then feel free to pm me,im always around somewhere.

try to keep smiling