Walking on a string.

I have been suffering from depression for nearly 3 years, well 4 now I guess. I found happiness in my ex-girlfriends we broke up about 7 months ago. Since then I have become depressed again. I have been feeling weird, unusual. I don't know if I am on the road to recovery, or on the road to destruction. If the opportunity to kill myself came up would I take it? Im not searching for it, but I feel like with each passing day I am becoming less concerned with dying. I am more accepting I guess.

 

Accepting, or is the need receding?

Hope this change ends with you feeling happier with things, and I hope you keep talking on here if you need to.

 

Like I don't mind dying, I accept death. At this point I don't know. I almost feel like I am looking for a place to die. I know when the moment comes. It kind of scares me, but I kind of see relief. So I am worried at this point. That I might end up ending my life. It might be me trying to kill myself, it might just be out of not caring what happens. Like speeding down the road, something dangerous that will thrill me but end in death.